Balance...

I'm back!..Oh my gosh..where has the time gone. I guess life really takes over when you let it do so! Well I have not written a thing on here in 5 months partially because I felt like my blog had turned into fodder for some no do gooders and I had felt a bit of conflict (like others do) about exposure/overexposure. Anyway, for the last few months I have been focused on a few things which involve making various parts of my life better, starting with myself, my relationships and my role as a mother. I have also taken on an unexpectedly demanding role at work while trying to hit the gym everyday. I have to say though, my efforts have paid off in various ways, I am feeling better both mentally and physically, I feel like we have developed a rhythm in the house between jobs, school and the little one who is home with her nanny most of the day. Certainly there is still the guilt of being gone at work and then taking another hour to myself to workout but I think it's been good or if anything balanced...or approaching balance..my baby is almost two and amazingly brilliant and stubborn..my older daughter is more gorgeous and more particular about her wardrobe everyday...I have lost 15 pounds and counting and my husband..well he's pretty even keeled...if you know what I mean!

Did I just say that? balance? Well I guess my life is more balanced than its been (or had any chance to be in the last 5-10 years). I am able to fit most things into my daily routine and I'm not completely stressed at the end except of course neglecting this blog! So here I am..I'm making a dedication to return to the blog and continue to use it as an outlet for my thoughts, my literary exercise and maybe even some comedy. I won't let my feelings of insignificance keep me from writing. I know I have something to share everyday and should do so regardless of if I have nice pictures to go with it. That's what this is about right..reality..documenting my thoughts..visual or not. My next few posts will be taking you back a few weeks..months but then we will move forward..I don't mind the non linearity anyway..my life isn't linear..I like it that way so why would my blog present it any other way..I ask myself that all the time.

Mothers Day 2014

Last year, although my husband did plan for mothers day he hadn't anticipated that every other man with 40 miles of the Warwick winery had the same plan as him causing us to have ended up sitting in traffic for hours trying to get in only to find that they were out of food and we at that point had cranky hungry kids on our hands. I was remember being rather cranky about it as well, but he made the best of it. He immediately got me a cup of their wonderful red sangria (and one for himself) and then stood in line for 30 minutes to get snacks from the shop. It turned out ok and we even got some nice pictures out of the day.

This mother’s day although he was slightly more prepared, he opted to scrap the plans he had talked about and go to a park unbeknownst to me. I’m not really a picnic person, I don’t mind it once in a while but for mothers day, I would have liked to do something I actually like to do..sleep! Aren’t all moms crabby on mothers day..ok maybe not..maybe just the moms I know..maybe not..maybe just me! I don’t know. Anyway, I put my best foot forwarder and got dressed and went along with it. It turned out to be nice, I was a bit hungry thoug because we only had a small picnic..nice glass of wine would have been nice..huh maybe he was onto something last year.

Snow days

So far we have already had a few snow days this december. Although I'm not a fan of cold weather activities, it was really fun playing in the snow with the kids last week. Evalie was nervous but excited and after the first trip down our hill on the boogie board she was hooked. Arielle on the other hand is really starting to look like a pro on the board, she's not scared at all. 

Trust..

The 'Itulum tree', Garba Compound, Langtang

Seriously missing my father these days. Since moving to this country I have gained much but have lost so much as well. Under this tree for many years, many days, many hours, I have learnt many lessons from how to behave as a child to anticipating the challenges of becoming an adult. we shared many laughs, meals and stories. I did not realize the importance at the time but now, as I yearn for that safety, the love and the trust bestowed up me by my father I wonder if I had listened carefully and if I had truly understood his words, that things would be different. Instead I have put myself amongst and within the surroundings of strangers, allowing them to undermine and take advantage of my weaknesses. I have exposed myself to people who know nothing of me but feel they deserve respect and have the right to an opinion of me. I do believe that one can only make an impression once and any further interaction is based on that one moment. You cannot present yourself uncouthly to me and expect to be treated with refinement. You will never be so. You will always be the same, it is unfortunate. 

I must continue to remind myself where I've come from, how I was brought up and who I am and not let the hatred, jealousy or boorish manners of others invade my existence. I will remain strong to protect children. I will one day return for that peace.