Sick.

You ever feel out of sorts but don't know why? Like you want to spend a good hour crying in your bathroom and then take a nap just in order to get back to normal? So fragile of a temperament that any little mishap or disappointment seems like the end of the world? Well I do sometimes..it creeps up on me, mostly catching mu unawares until I have an extreme melt down and either scream at the top of my lungs or get sick.  Its something I've dealt with all my life but only realizing it as an adult and trying to control it somewhat. In this case, I had a very very strange feeling at work the afternoon, I was nauseous ( no I'm not pregnant!), I felt physically sensitive, my head was spinning, my heart was pounding, I was freezing even though it was 90+ degrees outside and I had a light wrap on. I had thought I was bit out of it that morning but ignored it to maybe being tired but by mid afternoon, I had to leave, I went home, bypassed the kids and nanny and went to bed for a few hours, I was in pain..everywhere..I could not eat but I was hungry, I was thirsty but couldn't imagine putting a drop of liquid in my mouth without gagging. I got out of bed for a dentist appointment ( I know..I'm a great patient huh?) and to do the evening shift of baths, pajama race and dinner. luckily, by the time I go home form the dentist the hubby had done most of this and I got to lay on the couch. After spending a little time with the kids and husband that evening I went back to bed..I remember looking outside and thinking it was still light out! 

Anyway, I feel better and its now the weekend so I plan to relax for two days and I was offered the week off from work, which I may also take..since half of the week is Fourth of July celebration anyways! I don't know what triggered this reaction, I have been a bit upset over a loss of a family member for over a week but not fully able to deal with it, I've been a bit flustered by the influx of negative RSVP's for Evalie's first birthday party from the husbands family members since I really would not have planned such an expensive party if not for them and I've been feeling like I haven't spent any real quality time with my kids in months because it feels like we are always rushing out somewhere. I do the morning rush by myself before the nanny gets in I have to feed the kids and get myself ready also. Now that Evalie walks I'm constantly nervous she's going to hurt herself because she's still very wobbly. Breathe. 

I guess, I need to be a bit more aware of my place in life, I'm older, I have two kids, I work full time and then some, I don't exercise enough and I worry a lot. I am constantly on the edge or on the verge of a meltdown it seems these days..or I'm dreaming of being away..like a 10 day vacation on a beach somewhere with very tan people misting my face and serving frozen cocktails. I 'm making a promise to myself to relax more, worry less, appreciate my simple life (simplify it even more..), not be bothered by other peoples shortcoming and be healthy. So there.!

11 Months Old

What can I say...its been an interesting month with you little girl. Since we returned from Nigeria, you've been practicing your walking mainly while taking advantage of how fast you can move on your feet. In the last week or so, you've gotten considerably better with your balance on your feet and surprisingly have become friendlier now that you can walk. I am almost always in awe when I look over and see you standing almost half the height of your sister and realize that I have two beautiful daughters...I have two of you..it overwhelming. Your remain a calm and easy baby for the most part. You have taken very well to formula practically weaning yourself (so much so that daddy didn't even realize it had happened until this weekend..and its been several weeks.!) You eat very very well and have been sleeping through the night in your crib to my delight. I love to cuddle you in the morning even though I'm usually in a rush to get to work but luckily you also love your nanny Aneta too which make it bearable to leave you. You still suck on your tongue when your tired to sooth yourself and have become very fond of your Aden and Anais blankets as a safety. 

You went swimming for the first time the other day and loved it..you also went on a trampoline for the first time and really loved it even though you were a bit hesitant at first. You have begun to pick up words and mimic what we say, you do say "hi" a lot and if course you respond to your name when you here it. Its so funny to watch you waddling around like a little penguin, every move makes me happy and panic at the same time. Of course with mobility come bumps and bruises which I could do without but you don't want to be carried anymore, you want to be on the floor exploring and so you do but sometime you miss the table you are reaching for and bump your head..( I had to Photoshop the bump on your head out of these pictures!)

You are an absolute joy, you love to hug, you aren't fussy at all and you most of all are able to show love to all of us in such a lovely way so that we each understand how much you care for us and we certainly love you too. 

p.s. party planning is in full swing!..someone is going to be 1 soon!

This weekend

We had a nice day at Central Park on Sunday. It was a beautiful day and we thought walking around the city and lunch in the park sounded great. Maybe a visit to the zoo and a carousel ride as well..some ice cream and relaxation. Well, it turned out a bit different when we got there and found out it was the Puerto Rican day parade and everything int he park was closed passed the 70's streets. There were tons of sun bathers and tourists as usual but the fact that there were some things closed made it tough to get around because everyone was trying to figure out how to get around the parade. The Latin music was loud and ever present and got even louder as we approached the Boathouse for lunch. We finally found the rest of my family and sat for lunch.

 I am exhausted! Is it normal to be even more tired on Monday than you were on friday? Well in my world it is..I guess when you have two kids with activities, parties and family visiting you get a busy weekend. My dear uncle was here with his wife and kids who have never been to the U.S. so I felt that I needed to get them out to see as much of Manhattan in a day as we could..we tried..This was Evalies first trip to Central park..she had a great time..

On saturday, I had to attend a birthday party but afterwards we went to Dave and Busters to let the boys ( his kids are 9, 11 and 3 years old) loose. It was definitely an overdose of kids for me and arcade games..small sacrifices..The Boathouse was packed with people and little birds tryign to grab watever food they could get.

 There were NYPD officers stationed every 50 yards in some very conspicuous locations on foot and on horse. They basically were trying to contain the parade outside of the venues int he park.

 On our way to find the Zoo, we saw Big bird, rode the carousel and listened to an amateur pianist along the way. We eventually headed to the carnival which had unlimited rides for the kids and a magician who was mediocre (kind of like a cross between a wanna be Jerry Seinfeld and Gilbert Gottfried)! The kids had fun and the adults got tired!

On our walk to dinner at Joe's Shanghai, I saw the Citi bike doc up close and personal..this was really cool because I think its a fantastic initiative for the city and would love to join. Dinner was good and we all parted in yellow cabs, very full and tired.