9 Months Old

my sweet little Evalie is 9 months olds, I know I'm quite a bit late with this but things have been just going on without leaving me the time to really do anything besides keep the ship from sinking. I have been also feeling especially unwound, uncomfortable..something, just not completely present at anytime. I digress. This little bugger somehow, without talking is able to detect my feelings, she looks at me and seems to truly feel what I feel and then gives me so generously the biggest, cutest two tooth smile you've ever seen. Its what I live for these days, she's making little sounds and moves, very close to walking ( SHE'S WALKING...NOW..), eating everything...its all impressive but quite honestly, I am still completely fascinated by her ability to fill in the spaces for me. She is a little light in all of our lives, she lights up things with her big eyes and one can't help but be thankful for such a gift. It's funny because I often find myself looking at her now on the outside and recalling times when I felt the same comfort from her in my belly. She really has blossomed into a lovely little girl. She smiles constantly, she claps.( I know most 9 month olds do) but its still adorable to see.

I miss her dearly when I'm at work and look forward to her extremely animated expression of excitement when I peek my head in. It's the hardest to walk out in the morning with her crying in the arms of the nanny..its even hard on her sister as well. She suggested staying home from school ( which she loves) just so her sister wouldn't feel sad. Arielle is very generous with her love towards her sister, its so sweet it hurts. Its unbelievable for me to watch them playing peek-a boo or splashing in the bathtub together,   I had never imagined having two kids..little girls. 

Evalie is now weighing in at 20lbs and 28.75 inches tall, and she finally has enough hair to make a tiny little ponytail. It greatly transforms her look..from baby afro to little girl. Some people seem to think she looks more me with her hair that way so I'm favoring it for now. She still has her two teeth but as of yesterday I see another cropping up in the bottom and one more coming in at the top in the front as well. I love my little mini..you truly complete our family, your personality is reserved but friendly and you certainly have the same sense of humor as your big sister. I miss my baby as I see you move from one milestone to the next but you will always be my baby buzzy!

20 Weeks Old

At 20 weeks, Evalie you are 16.9 lbs and 26 inches long. You are definitely going through a transition because you now insist on sitting on the floor so much so that you slide off the lap of anyone carrying you just to get to the floor. You've also discovered the Exersaucer which you really seem to like as well and you are quite steady in it as well.  Last week you had you 4 month visit and Dr. Jamie says you are perfect and has instructed us to start you on solids and so since Thanksgiving was just last week, we chose Acorn squash as your first vegetable. I baked some for Thanksgiving dinner with a maples-soy ginger glaze but for yours we steamed plain (with some water). Last week you had started Happy Bellies oatmeal cereal mixed with mommy milk which you don't love but will eat. Tonight you had your second helping of Acorn squash and to my surprise, you liked it, you even fussed every time I sat for too long without giving you any. Of course you are still working on not pushing your tongue out at me when I try to feed you but I think you'll be pretty good pretty soon. You do make some chewing movements so I know you are trying to get the food back.

On a less happy note, you are teething and today must have been a big day in the process because you have cried so much today, that I am happy to see you quiet right now (sitting on the floor, playing with my feet). You've been tugging at year right ear and been generally unhappy all day but I resisted giving you Tylenol before I tried everything else and after a bath and squash I think you are OK..for now. I will call Dr. Jamie later if we have a tough bedtime. Anyway, as usual..you loved you bath and love playing with your sister.

Your face seems to be changing from a little baby look into a very cute girlie look but I still can't get over the cheeks, I still remember when the ultrasound tech saw you in 3d, she immediately gasp.."oh my gosh, look at those cheeks" and sure enough, your cheeks look like two eggs hanging off you face..its absolutely adorable. I love you little girl. 

Weird.

What do you do when theres a little bully on the playground who's mother does not accept that her child might be a problem?

Do I let the child know that she's (or he) better watch her step? Do I sit back and trust that my little girl will find her way out of it? Do I take her out of the situation (save her)? Do I get the mom to say something?

Well I chose the second and it worked! Although Arie adopted an aversion strategy instead of talking/fighting back, it worked. She solved her own playground dispute without any help from us.

Kids are brutal on one another! gosh in the last few days I have had two playground encounters with little girls that makes me think what I have in store for myself. The mean girls (popular) and the others already exists at an early age and I think its reinforced knowingly by the mothers, simply by not addressing the kids actions, we encourage our children to make others feel bad for no good reason! 

Here's a little story: Arielle was playing by herself at the sand tables (there were 5 separate ones) and got confronted by two little girls about her age and a curiously bigger girl (maybe 12 yrs), they asked her her name numerous times and she just played deaf with a stone face (whats that all about..?). Anyway, she eventually joined in playing beside them and one of the two little girls snatched the shovel from her and would not give it back..backed by the 12 yrs girl, Arielle tried to get it back to no avail so she left. As she played at another table by herself, the friend of the snatcher came over to join her and this angered the other girl..at some point the little girl started crying loudly and screaming "I said I was sorry".. her mom as well as the mom of the other little one came over and scooped them both away..leaving Arielle playing once again by herself. The twelve year old shared the story with them but they seemed to not care. When I asked Arielle if everything was alright (because she didn't seemed phased by this at all), she said "yes" but let me know that the girls had said she was "WEIRD"..what? What's so weird about her? Not nice little girl! 

Over PROTECTING our children

My sweet girl 

Its no secret that I am a cross between a helicopter mom, a tiger mom, a self professed attachment parent and a mush! I've gone from being a nervous wreck over the news of having a daughter to not being able to even leave this little girl without falling to pieces. I know its partially my fault that she is also rather clingy, she melts when she has to leave me, she melts when she's had to leave her cousins, she's genuinely saddened when family hang outs have to come to an end. She loves so hard already that I'm so afraid for what life's ups and downs will do to her heart and spirit.
I certainly hope she has everything she's ever wanted and never gets turned down or let down but thats not possible and its healthy to know what it is to lose someone you love or not to get your way or win all the time, the issue is that its my responsibility to teach her that concept and how to cope (and in a few weeks..I'll have two!) I'm not sure even I have developed my coping skills to  a degree where I feel completely secure in giving others life defining advice/ guidance. I know, I know, she's only 3 1/2 and she must develop some of this on her own from mistakes and such but its really hard to see your little one hurt isn't it?  So how do I do this?  Still thinking?

If I may digress, I thinks that's been the shift in my mindset, now as I'm expecting another child, and I am still surprised by the fact that I'm not nearly as anxious as I was to meet my first. By week 33 the last time around I was so, so, so anxious I thought I would burst but right now, I realize that in 7 weeks I will have a baby girl and I am okay with that and the time left before we meet. Knowing the littlest is safe in there just swimming around with no idea what's out here is so comforting to me and of course, I take her with me everywhere.

My sweet girl and one her friends (what do 3 year olds say to each other?)

Anyway, so how do young-ish moms (and dads..I suppose) who work and therefore leave their children for the whole or part of the day feel about the type of care the kids get and the effects of the experiences your children have outside your protection. Yes, she's only 3 1/2 but she expresses herself quite well and when we discuss her day, there are things she tells me that make me proud and there are things that make me want to just quit and take care her myself..I will warn you this is the 'mush' part of me speaking now so you may not think this is as critical as I did last night..but my sweet girl has been drinking a larger juice box this week (Yes..its THAT dramatic!) and has had two accidents during nap time at school this week, so I asked her about this before bed and she said she felt embarrassed because Michael C. (yep I'm calling him out!) was laughing at her while she was changing! Immediately my mind starts racing.."why was Michael C. in the bathroom while you were changing?.."Why wasn't your teacher helping you?"..."Did she stop Michael C. from harassing you?"...I bombarded this little girl with questions hoping something she says would make me feel better about this. I'm not sure if she felt as bad as I did, and if my line of questioning might have recast another light on the experience for her. 

I dont think, its okay for little kids (boys and girls) to change together..is that wrong? I don't appreciate the teacher telling my daughter that she doesn't need help changing because she's a "big girl"..and I certainly have no appreciation for Michael C. making fun of my baby because she had an accident ( I got my eye on you little boy!) So am I overreacting? Should I say something to the teacher or is this just par for the course?

I've heard people's feeling on this kind of attachment parenting or overprotection of your children, that it results in 'spoiled and bratty', 'undisciplined', 'disobedient' and even overly independent children but I tend to think that theres enough they have to deal with so early on that my role as a mother needs to cushion some of those realities for as long as I can.