#15: Fathers

I have never really pondered how I would define a father, I know what mine was like but had really never imagined what I expected of the father to my children. I guess I had expected that being a father is something that you should 'just know how to do' but I realize as I watch the relationship between you and the little one emerge, it's clear to see that it is like any other relationship in life, it requires quite a bit of effort. She adores you beyond words and I know you do adore her as well, you will always be her favorite. As she becomes more independent and opinionated, you must continue to be her "dada", her cuddle buddy, her protector and a mentor. The latter is the toughest I think, its a challenge and I know no one is perfect all the time but as long as you (we) continue to strive towards being a good example for our kids, thats all that matters.

Just as I lament over the responsibilities of raising two girls, I'm sure you to have fears which you don't show to us but you must remember, you have two girls (almost three) who love and admire you and will always be there for you and look up to you. Happy Fathers day. ( I still hate fishing..by the way.!)

Week 38. Turn baby turn

Monday- Thursday

I feel like I should be "nesting" right now (even though that word bothers me some..) but I'm not I 'm at my stopping point until theres some indication of when this will actually happen, I'm not packing, cleaning or organizing anything else, I just don't feel like it. Its unfortunate that I lost the excitement I had just a few weeks ago to something beyond my control apparently, lest I say stochastic. The statistics are rather impressive, that a full term baby can turn from a vertex (low lying) position to breech and then turn back (unassisted) within one week. Also, the statistics for a successful ECV are also impressive but not as much as the former, ECV has about a 58 percent success rate in turning breech babies and a 90 percent success rate if the baby is in a transverse lie, so for me especially, the silver lining is that apparently baby E has chosen (as of last week) the transverse lie not a full/frank breech. My only focus right now is getting this baby to turn back to a vertex position and stop messing around so I guess technically thats nesting, I'm now relegated to re-organizing my insides to prepare for the appropriate exit route. 

I have tried the "breech tilt" for about 15 minutes and got a pretty bad headache from that, it looks easy but not with all the extra stuff going on inside, I have iced my belly every night since Thursday which resulted in slight protest kicks but no large swings of shifts. I even tried the downward dog position for about 20 minutes but I gave up on that, unfortunately, I am not encouraged that she'll turn again and I don't think any of this actually could work. I have been pocking and prodding her for days now trying to figure out which bump is a head, shoulder or rump. I have researched every possible thing about turning the baby but still staying away from reading up on C-sections yet. 

(side bar: my fingers are so swollen and tingly, its taking the pleasure out of even typing right now)

On sunday night, I felt horrible, I thought I was going in for a minute, I had serious pains emanating for my lower back and felt dizzy and nauseous. After laying down for most of the night everything subsided. I have once again been sleeping like a sleep deprived architecture student after final crits for the last few days, I may just be trying to sleep the week away or maybe I'm really tired, who knows. On Tuesday night/early morning I was awakened by some pretty vigorous kicks and shifts which lasted about an hour but don't seem to have resulted in a new position. Anyway, tommorow I have set myself up for good and bad news, at 9am we have a consult with a pediatrician I am told is pretty great  (for this area),  then the U/s at 12:15pm to check the new position of this baby and schedule the ECV. It will be nice to have some kind of answer and plan because my obssesive bones have not handled the 'waiting game' (waiting for baby E to turn on her own) very well this week. You know things are out of hand when your 3 year old wants to shine her Dora flashlight up your dress so the "..baby isn't..bweech (breech) anymore"!

Friday
SHE TURNED! She really made her way back to the right position..I hope she stays this way!

#16: Baby moves

http://www.fitpregnancy.com

After worrying all week about having an ECV, C-section and any other thing that could go awry, my little E turned herself back around to a vertex (head-down) position and moved south..way south! So bravo for the little ones ability to intuitively figure out that she was facing the wrong way (hear my threats) and hooray for my body still having enough room for her to unflip herself. I had a feeling she did on Wednesday night after some strange movements lasting about an hour but refused to let myself get excited until the doc herself confirmed it. So now I return to waiting for the moment she realizes its time to exit the space. I never imagined I could be so thrilled to be given the oppourtunity to experience the most painful process a woman can go through. 

#17: Banana Walnut bread

Its great to recycle, reuse and not waste things right! Yes, I am not so great at this but I try not to be wasteful. We do waste food in our house simply because we buy things with the intention of cooking dinners at home and then forget and things just go bad sitting in the refrigerator. The idea of using very ripe bananas to make a treat is alright with me especially if you have everything you need already in the house. I just happened to have 3 ripe bananas that I knew neither Arie nor I would eat because they were mushy, so we decided to turn them into a bread. We used the recipe from the Food Network and it turned out to be rather delicious..