International Day

International day in at my nieces elementary school in was this past weekend and pretty fun. My sister had to represent the entire continent of Africa, we served Nigerian food (jollof rice, efo, meat-pies, fish stew, nigerian salad) though and displayed items from as many other countries as we could. The funny part of the day was that I had agreed to do the fashion show, not myself but to dress a bunch of little kids in some of the dresses from my little store to publicize it to the mothers in the audience. The problem was we only had three kids within the size range that I stock which is 6months -4T. So basically we had a lineup that consisted of a rambunctious 2 year old Peruvian girl, Arielle (whose 3+), my niece (whose 5), my other niece (whose 8) and two of her friends who are even bigger than her. The kids did ok but a lot of the outfits looked too uncoordinated and apparently my husband found it tough to photgraph kids on a stage. In the end we all had fun. Arielle cried when we left ( she does this alot when she has to leave).

WORK? Childcare or Homecare?

Arielle at 2 months old

When I found out I was expecting my first child, I was ecstatic as you may imagine but as things settled in I began to think of the consequences of returning to work after baby. This is an issue that is extremely complex and certainly varies widely depending on your position in your field and income but in general, I think after 40weeks of worrying about the well being of your baby within your body, the baby is born and precious and then the worrying continues but just in another way. 

Once you emerge from the initial fog of new motherhood, reality sets in and you realize you may have made a decision (determined parental leave) which seemed like the right one many months before actually meeting your little one but may actually be harder to fulfill than you ever expected. Sure there are the logical issues like money but then there are heavier issues like mentally returning to normal (mommy brain is real you'all!)  and the biggest, hardest part (for me..at least) was parting with this little thing you love so much and handing him/ her over to a person you may have met a few times. Not everyone has this 'problem', some people are fortunate to have family members to help out or have the ability to work from home etc. but for many women, the idea of having to return to work is hard to deal with moreover, is there anyone who you feel is suited to take care of your newborn?

I am an assistant professor and have taught for several years so for me the situation was a bit complicated because of the higher education structure, basically  the Fall semester begins in August and Spring semester begins in January and I remember looking into the faculty handbook and realizing that although the benefits were absolutely fantastic, they suggested that we try to align our paternal leave with the semester scheduling. My daughter was due at the end of September so I could take the Fall semester off (with full pay) and return in January which at the time seemed like I couldn't have planned it better but in fact, she was born in October and the months between that and January flew by, and suddenly there I was leaving my home to a perfect stranger and handing my 3 month old baby over to a woman I had found through an ad we placed, I was a mess, I cried every morning in private. I thought it would be easier to at least have someone with the baby in our home with our things and the baby in her own crib where she could be fully attended to..it wasnt. Arielle eventually began attending a daycare center when she was 10 months old and could walk..this was still hard.

This time around, my timing is actually worse if thats even possible; my semester ends in a few weeks, I'll be about 34 weeks and the baby is due July 1st which basically means I have 7 or 8 weeks before the Fall semester! I have to decide by Monday if I intend to return for Fall 2012 or not which means I need to have some idea of who will watch the baby and how much this will cost. Arielle's current daycare/preschool also takes babies at 8 weeks but I feel really apprehensive about leaving such a young baby in a group scenario especially if I am trying to nurse. I feel strongly about mothering, being present and instilling certain things early on so in my mind the benefits of staying with my baby far outweigh the monetary gain I would get from returning to work after 7 weeks but if I don'd do so then I am out from June until January which may be a bit too long to stay home I think as well as keep Arielle home from play/preschool. Anyway, I had decided last year to try to just do what feels right and everything will fall into place, its a very vulnerable place to be but it may just be the spirit of this time. 

Week 31

This is a bit late for week 31 but anyway, on with it. A few things could have happened in the past week and a half,

1. Either the baby grew ALOT

2. This dress makes my stomach look much larger than it is..Or

3. I am in denial about how much my stomach has grown large my belly actually is! 

I have tried not to eat any dessert this week, no cake, ice cream..candy..just grapes. I have been eating little bits for dinner because its tough to breath if I eat too much. I have been tremendously thirsty which makes it even harder to eat much because I fill up on water before I can get to eat. The baby definitely feels heavy, theres still a lot of movement and but they feel like pushing and prodding moreso than a fish in a bowl. I wonder what she's doing in there but I will soon have a inside look because I have another ultrasound in a few days ( maybe even 4D), I have to have a look at what her positioning is, how big she is and if she's getting ready to make a debut because the doc had a few concerns about it but wanted to wait until I was in the single digits of my time left to check. I am looking forward to it. I haven't seen the baby since the 23 week ultra scan so it'll be fun to get another look, maybe the last. 

I have started puting together a list of things we need to get, we are set with all big things, nursery furniture is in, car set is in the basement, monitor, moses basket, bassinet etc but what we don't have is all the little things like diapers, towels, washcloths, bathtub etc..so I guess I'll a t least make a list and have it ready if I find myself in Target in the next few weeks I will pick some stuff up. 

At this point, its really real right, it could happen anytime (in the next 9 weeks) but technically the baby is considered to be full term at 37 weeks so thats in 6 weeks and they way she's been moving around and weighing me down make me really feel like she'll be an early one. I kind of want a really dramatic birth, water breaks on the train or something..I don't know.. and I hope its on a weekend..but preferably before 4th of July so I can really celebrate my independence!

Baby's Nursery-Part I

On Friday, we came home from work to a big box on the doorstep and it was the crib we ordered! Can I just say that Amazon.com is quite a place, they shipped it to us in 3 days and because the dresser was out of stock they went to great lengths to get me one of the two dressers left in stock from Giggle.com, with a tax and shipping discount as well. That hasn't shipped but it says it will arrive this week which is still very quick for an item I was told would not be here until June 4th, so needless to say, I am very pleased.

I had mixed feelings about the crib but my sweet girl was extremely excited to set it up so we did. We cleared out the room (we had a futon in there for guests) and began the set up. Last week, I had already started sorting, washing and folding clothes from the basement so we had purchased a wardrobe to start which was already set up.

The crib was fairly easy to set up, it came in a few pieces with graphically illustrated instructions (ikea style) but the entire hardware package came affixed to one piece and that did scratch the paint off a bit, luckily it was off the piece which hold the mattress so you cant see it..but we know its there.

The details are quite nice, the cross bars have metal trimmings and the ends are almost solid except for one little slit on either side. The design is simple with clean lines; I think I may just hold off on buying the crib sheet set and use a minimal fitted sheet and neutral blanket without a bumper of course.
My father in law bought us the necessary items for the nursery as well and they arrived last week. So the crib mounted changing table by Ouef is set up as well, we also received the baby monitor, organic mattress and car seat (unopened in garage). All of a sudden I feel completely relaxed about the baby coming and I still have 9.5 weeks to go. This is not to say I am not anxious about the actual delivery part but at least she has a place to sleep (a pretty nice one!)