#22: Life

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/05/world/africa/engine-trouble-reported-in-nigerian-crash.html

Although this incident seems far from home to some, it is at home for me. I live in New York and have created a life here over many years but I am from Nigeria and often wonder what life would have been like if I hadn't stayed in the US and instead returned home after college. Our country isn't perfect but we have struggled and persevered through many hard times, we are resilient people with good hearts and strong will. I appreciate the safety we have here in the US but we cannot forget how fleeting life really is; while my heart goes out to those who have perished in this disaster remember this could have happened anywhere and been anyone, but today we are spared and get to continue our lives. RIP

#23: Fire Snake

http://www.chinesezodiac.com/snake.php

A few months ago my husband sent me this link to my Chinese Zodiac and after reading I thought how poignant the description was (and him as well, the horse) so as I continue the 40 in 40 series, I searched for this again in order to start off my week with self reflection. Who I am really, what drives my personality? Its an interesting take on ones character and can be revealing even to oneself.

Personality

Occupying the 6th position in the Chinese Zodiac, the Snake symbolizes such character traits as intelligence, gracefulness and materialism. When it comes to decision-making, Snakes are extremely analytical and as a result, they don’t jump into situations. They are effective at getting the things they want, even if it means they have to scheme and plot along the way.

Snakes are very materialistic creatures, preferring to surround themselves with the finest that life has to offer. This is especially evident in the home, where luxurious furnishings and surroundings help Snakes seek the peace they need in order to thrive.

Health

Snakes prefer living a life of calmness, preferring quietness over noise and a manageable workload rather than a schedule that’s overly-booked. Snakes become easily stressed when their lives aren’t peaceful or in order. Too much of this way of life can shorten a snake’s life!

Career

Snakes do work very hard, but they have a tendency to be job-hoppers as they become easily bored. Their somewhat laid-back attitude causes them to be mistakenly categorized as slackers, but nothing could be further from the truth! Snakes are very creative and extremely diligent. They’re excellent problem-solvers and thrive under tight deadlines. Good career choices for Snakes include: scientist, analyst, investigator, painter, potter, jeweler, astrologer, magician, dietician, and sociologist.

Relationships

Snakes are excellent seducers so they never have trouble attracting others. However, they’ll be the ones to decide when a relationship has potential and when it does not. Once they’ve chosen a partner, a Snake’s insecure side will begin to show through. Snakes guards their chosen partners much like a prized possessions, becoming jealous and even obsessive. Snakes prefer to keep their feelings to themselves. It’s important to never betray a Snake’s trust as a betrayed snake will make it a goal to get even some day!

Snakes and the 5 elements 

Metal Snake – Years 1941 and 2001

Incredibly goal-oriented, Metal Snakes will stop at nothing to get that which they believe they deserve. Failure is not in their vocabularies. With their money, they’re continually acquiring more and more possessions – for themselves.

Water Snake – Years 1953 and 2013

Influential, motivated, insightful, and highly intellectual are words that best characterize Water Snakes. These Snakes work well with others and enjoy being recognized and rewarded. They’ll reveal feelings to those closest to them, but no one else.

Wood Snake – Years 1905 and 1965

Kind and genuine, these Snakes enjoy building a solid foundation of friends and family whom they love deeply and whose company they enjoy immensely. But even with all this support, Wood Snakes rarely seek the advice of others.

Fire Snake – Years 1917 and 1977

Fire Snakes are more extroverted, forever offering opinions and telling others what’s on their minds. Even so, others enjoy listening to Fire Snakes. They’re very persuasive and are especially good at convincing others that their ways are best.

Earth Snakes – Years 1929 and 1989

Earth Snakes always seem to be calm and content. They’re friendly and approachable and believe that they’ll reap great rewards by working hard and relying on common sense.

Compatibility

The Snake is compatible with a Rooster and an Ox and incompatible with a Pig and a Monkey.

Week 37: Full Term

Wednesday afternoon

I feel like a plastic bag with a small animal trying to escape from it..I know that sounds really bad but theres no other way to describe the feeling of baby movements in the last few days. They are strong, deliberate and constant, it really does feel like she's struggling to get out or something most of the time and she moves alot. This is really funny since she was completely still last friday during the exam, so much so that you could hear both myself and the Doc hold our collective breaths while searching for her with the doppler! Also this week, I started out really really tired and now towards the middle of the week I am feeling like organizing and cleaning as much as I can, putting things away and even cooking dinner for my family. 

My swelling has disappeared altogether and hasn't returned after being extremely swollen last Saturday.

Friday afternoon

I am feeling truly exhausted again but not physically, I am a bit physically tired probably due to my lack of appetite and inability to sleep. I have lost a few pounds, probably due to the lack of swelling but no help from the bag of peanut M&M's I ate this week. I am feeling mentally drained though because of the surprising facts I have gotten in the last two days. OK- so I was rather positive about my progress because last week I was told the baby was head down and low and that was good, I imagined going in today and being told I was making some progress and that the baby could be here anytime. I was wrong! 

Unfortunately, I was completely shocked with the news that baby E is now breech (almost transverse) at my 37 week ultrasound with the specialist! She is BREECH..I hadn't even imagined that could be the case, but as soon as the tech said that I realized that all the vigorous movements from earlier in the week were the baby pushing herself up and turning all the way around.  I also found out were that she is 6 lb.10 oz., 18" long and very cute in a "4d image orange glow" sort of way but how could I appreciate this when I was now faced again with the C-section!

Dr. Lescale suggested I lay upside down and coax her to turn herself back over. I left feeling pretty deflated but could not spend the rest of the day sulking since I was with my little one. We spent the rest of the afternoon with my sister and her daughters which was great to take my mind off the news, sort of.

This afternoon, I had my regular appointment with my delivering OB who checked and found the baby's heartbeat in no time, then felt around to confirm the baby was still in the breech position (and she was). She then sat me up and told me we would basically give the Baby E a week to return to her previous position, if by next Friday afternoon she still remain in the breech position, she suggested setting a date for me to have an External Cephalic Version, a procedure done to turn the baby! I have heard this can hurt but I am comforted that she suggested it and seems confident about it, it needs to be done before labor begins so by 38 weeks we're within the 2-week window. 

I must remain positive and find ways to keep myself from getting down over this, I am nervous about the possibility of a C-section, not because theres anything wrong with it per se but I had imagined trying to really fully immerse myself in the birthing process this time and no rush for pain relief like I did last time (out of fear...really) but now even so I am nervous about the regular delivery as well. The surprises are everyday and I am not handling this well. I had no surprises last time, all I did was show up and give birth to a baby but this time it seems theres an issue at everyturn. Maybe my previous doctor was very conservative and felt she didn't need to tell me every little detail along the way leaving me anxious but naive. Anyway, we'll keep positive and I will attempt the frozen peas on my belly, music down south, laying upside down and doing a downward dog everyday until next week.

Week 36 has felt longer than 7 days and I can only imagine Week 37 will feel even longer while I anxiously wait. I have another ultrasound on Friday to see if Baby E has moved into a proper vertex position or remains breech. 

#24: Black and White

I love black and white, I love the contrast, the simplicity, the clarity of it all. As a concept though, one can really get in a negative cycle if only allowing oneself to see things in black and white. Guilty! I have always been harsh about the way I confront things, as extremes only, any one situation can only be bad' or 'good' so its fitting today that the little one and I did some black and white painting together. (After a depressing doctors visit!). The original intent was to 1. give her something to do with herself and 2. to allow her make something she can say she made for her baby sisters room. 

So I had seen this project on another blog months ago and thought its pretty cool because basically newborns have a propensity towards colours with high contrast so can distinguish between black and white better than other colour combinations and this was easy to make because if you restrict a little girl to one color, the actual figure she's creating becomes more apparent to her and she's more conscious of her creation.

Once these dry I will hang them near the baby's changing table so she has something to capture her attention while I apply a cold wipe to her butt..(Btw are we the only ones who just couldn't imagine applying a cold wipe on the first baby's bottom but now see the ridiculousness of a wipe warmer..)