Trust..

The 'Itulum tree', Garba Compound, Langtang

Seriously missing my father these days. Since moving to this country I have gained much but have lost so much as well. Under this tree for many years, many days, many hours, I have learnt many lessons from how to behave as a child to anticipating the challenges of becoming an adult. we shared many laughs, meals and stories. I did not realize the importance at the time but now, as I yearn for that safety, the love and the trust bestowed up me by my father I wonder if I had listened carefully and if I had truly understood his words, that things would be different. Instead I have put myself amongst and within the surroundings of strangers, allowing them to undermine and take advantage of my weaknesses. I have exposed myself to people who know nothing of me but feel they deserve respect and have the right to an opinion of me. I do believe that one can only make an impression once and any further interaction is based on that one moment. You cannot present yourself uncouthly to me and expect to be treated with refinement. You will never be so. You will always be the same, it is unfortunate. 

I must continue to remind myself where I've come from, how I was brought up and who I am and not let the hatred, jealousy or boorish manners of others invade my existence. I will remain strong to protect children. I will one day return for that peace.