Anyone who is in this club i.e. the 'Birth Club' (have given birth, been in the room for a birth, actually executed the birth..etc) knows already how touchy the issues surrounding this process are but even so, the actual act of delivering the baby is only a small part of it. In the months prior- starting at about 8 weeks, most women begin to see an obstetrician once a month, the events of these appointments vary depending on the mom and the pregnancy but usually consists of the a weighing in, testing of all kinds of fluids.. etc. but mainly, I feel like these visits also give the woman an opportunity to get comfortable with the doctor who you essentially will be putting in charge of not only your life but the life of a baby you've been carrying around for 40 weeks or so as well. Some women prepare for this their entire lives and KNOW who they want this person to be before even finding that their expecting but for people like me, having moved so many times in my life, I don't have any deep rooted relationship with doctors or anyone really...Anyway, I have lived here since 2007 and have rarely needed to see a doctor (I'm not one to go if I don't need to..I'm terrified of needles..and dentists most especially).
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| A. "Knock up" |
For the birth of my first daughter I went to a practice in which one of its doctors had delivered my younger sister and both my nieces, I felt that since I hadn't had much experience with anyone else, it would be best and it was except that in practices they discourage you from seeking a single point person and make you see all the doctors in the practice a few times so any one of them is familiar enough to deal with your case as it arises..babies arrive on their schedule which does not always match that of the doctors.
Side bar- Have you ever seen "Knocked Up"? One of my favorite scenes from the movie "Knocked Up" is when Katherine Heigl goes into labor and finds out the doctor who assured her he never took vacations was in fact on vacation and so she ends up with Ken Jeong as her doctor...(had to be there
Anyway, it all worked out in the end but the problem was, I lived one hour away so the weekly and daily appointments became quite involved towards the end. I also wasn't to fond of the other doctors and when delivery day arrived I ended up being checked on by the male doctor who I really had barely spoken to in nine months but at the last minute my they switched shifts and the doctor I wanted arrived to deliver my baby. Also the hospital they were affiliated with had only a few private recovery rooms on a 'first come first serve' basis so even though I was there early, there were 4 C-sections done before my baby actually was delivered and I ended up with a shared room so my husband had to leave me, tired and terrified with a baby only a few hours old.
Now, almost 4 years later, I have been a bit more proactive and have researched hospitals and doctors within 25 miles radius. After weighing the pros and cons, I visited one hospital and decided to go with a medical practice affiliated with the hospital whose office is 3 minutes away form my house. I initially wanted to deliver at the new, larger hospital with has 19 private rooms and encourage dads to room in but they have over 30 OB affilates all under a single umbrella and confirmed that I would have to see whoever was available on any given day which had the potential become even more impersonal. No way!
The practice I selected has 4 doctors-3 female and one male, over the last few months I have seen each one at least once and really only felt genuine care from only one of them, she actually spent more than 3 minutes talking to me at my appointment, she looked at me directly and gave some thought to my questions rather than generalizing or postponing until a later date. she also referred me to a specialist to monitor a potential complication found through the detailed ultrasound and he is great but unfortunately he doesn't deliver. Similar to the previous office there is no way around seeing any and all of them and I have no idea who will spend what could be hours of unexpected events when I go into labor..so I am a bit terrified.
So now I am caught between a conveniently located practice whose care is a bit lacking (9 out of ten time if you call their office you get an answering machine, which is crazy in my opinion) and switching back to my previous OB located an hour away. Its really about more than the distance or the accommodations but the fact that the fetal specialist has expressed concern and mentioned the possibility of a C-section to me while the doctors at the practice have had to shuffle through my files in front of me both times times I've asked about this issue before attempting to answer me, often with a very general, non informative answer. I don't want a C-section at all and I feel like they have thrown that word out there too many times already that its making me feel like its just something they do rather try hard to avoid.
It seems to me that all this is really unacceptable and makes me uncomfortable because its impersonal..I'm reduced to just a folder with papers attached to it...I'm not trying to make a commentary on the entire medical practice but I do think the extra effort it takes to make an expectant mother feel comfortable when they are in one the most vulnerable positions ever (literally and figuratively) is well worth it and becoming harder and harder to find these days.
Anyway, I suppose the best approach to this is to educate and prepare myself as best as I can and in the end I can only hope that whichever doctor I get is at least focused and engaged for the time we're in labor/delivery and then its all my responsibility afterwards.
Last year she was 21/2 and we did some dyeing but that was it, luckily, my sister (who has two daughters, 5 and 8 respectively) invited us over to a friends house who was having an Easter egg hunt for the kids and I was astounded at how much fun my girl had looking for little plastic eggs partially because there were other little ones running around and also because she hadn't really ever been exposed to this before i suppose. This Sunday, I hope to plan a little hunt with our neighbors little girls maybe but if not I'll have to make up for it somehow. I remember being younger and really looking forward to the days where we had cousins over for some occasion and it was an all day funday..
