Week 30

B. The bump

A. Trying to look normal
(even though I feel like 'large Marge')

With 10 weeks to go before I experience the most nerve racking and POTENTIALLY painful yet amazing experience a woman could go through in life, I feel calm but a bit emotional. The books say the hormonal effects from the first trimester return making you feel strange shifts in mood very quickly, I feel sensitive and scared, yet confident and excited to meet a baby girl who I've fallen in love with over the last 30 weeks. I have hopes for her, I hope she comes out to be as beautiful inside as my sweet girl, I hope I am able to love her and that her sister loves her even more. I hope Arielle is able to understand that the baby isn't taking her place in my heart or more important than her but that she will require more attention initially. I hope I do not become overwhelmed by the experience and I am able to sit back and experience my new baby with as much appreciation as I have tried to have through these weeks of pregnancy. I am so looking forward to the sound of that first cry, the feeling of a small warm body new to the world with no other intuition but to find comfort in the most recognizable scent, mine..voice, mine, heartbeat, mine.

I've heard that the arrival of a second baby isn't as full on as the first because you have some idea of what to expect but I am not sure I totally agree, there are so many unknowns before I will actually meet her and take her home. Will she come early, on time or late like her sister? (and her mommy always is..I'm working on that!). Will she be a bigger baby, as they say second babies are always bigger? Will I be in labor for 24 hours and be able to bare the pain as she makes her way out? Will she be a good sleeper? Colicky?  I keep having this vision of dropping her..I know its just a manifestation of my fear for handling such delicate little things especially since Arielle's been out of that stage for a while..now when she falls we still ask if she ok but its not as dramatic as it used to be..she a rough and tumble kind of girl.

I finally ordered a crib and dresser for her room, I have a 'take home outfit' and bunting suit just incase its cold or whatever..I know its going to be July but its cute anyway. So for now, I continue to expand hopefully at a normal, slow pace..and savor silence while (when) I have it.

Baby Showers for NO.2

A. Gifts from a friend 

Is it okay to have a party for the second baby? (Start rant) YES..it is people! Its a NEW human being, DIFFERENT from the first, took just as long to prepare (with all the pains and pricks) and will take just as long to nurture through life so whats the deal with people either thinking its inappropriate to have one or treating it like its not important? The same things happens with birthday parties beyond the first birthday party right..at least for me its seems so!  I hate parties..you put all this time and effort into planning and invite people over to have a great time (hopefully) and celebrate something with you and they decide they're washing their hair that day and can't come! ...I'm not saying things don't come up and people don't get busy but being the procrastinator that I am, I know one when I see one and I can call it from a hundred yards away! If I want to attend something I'm invited to and think its important, I make the effort, I find the time and it doesn't  matter how long the drive is..even if I only can stay for a few hours and I know it means something to the celebrant, I will be there..why is this no longer the case in society..or is it and I'm just not that important? (end rant).

Anyway, here in pregnant world, its becoming harder to digest anything..food?..Yes, but thats not what I'm referring to..everything makes me upset now..I feel like the woman who plays the understudy for Bette Middler from the Seinfeld episode who cried when her hotdog fell in the sand but was completely unfazed when she receives a telegram letting her know her grandmother had died (you had to be there!). So, I found out I am having a shower being hosted by my sister in a few weeks from my Father-in law of course..and then asked my husband about it and sure enough he's knee deep in the planning, even sent out the E-vite so now I'm getting constant updates of people who aren't coming daily and its driving me crazy! I love the fact that he wants me to be happy so he is trying to wrap it all into this great party but unfortunately the guests aren't cooperating and it just makes a gal feel less than important.

Anyway, so I guess the baby shower party is my "hotdog in the sand" and the fact that I have to move an 8lb human being from the inside to the outside in 10 weeks is feeling like "my telegram" right about now.

Blame it on the goose

Got you feeling loose
Blame it on Patron
Got you in the zone
Blame it on the ho ho ho ho hormones..

Blame it on the ho ho ho ho hormones..

Walkway Over The Hudson

It was beautiful this weekend and after the cold winter (even as mild as it was here in NYC) everyone looks forward to longer days and warmer weather. We didn't set or break any records temperature-wise but I thought we had the perfect weather, flowers are starting to sprout..birds and bugs are out and the combination of some sun and nice breezes can be really uplifting to anyones spirits. So instead of sitting home we went for a long walk..across the Hudson River. Hope you had a great weekend.

A. Mid Hudson bridge (viewed from Walkway over Hudson)

Week 29

I have surprised myself, I don't feel self conscious, I haven't been micro monitoring my weight, I am not completely melting down over my growing stomach and stretch marks, these are all surprising to me since I had weighed myself almost everyday for many years and keep pretty close tabs on how much I gain and immediately formulate a plan to get rid of it. Its a strange time because although I haven't gained too much, I also know the third trimester is the time that most women put on quite a bit of weight.

I haven't been as active in the gym as I would have liked but I am certainly not sitting around, I walk quite a bit to and from the train to get to work, somedays I drive but unlike the first time around where I was on vacation from 4 months pregnant until birth, this time I am up and running and it feels pretty good. The headaches are back and I'm pretty sleepy most times but in the last few days I have been experiencing some insomnia as well. So I sit up watching anything on tv or reading other blogs. I am breaking out a bit here and there but that may because of my carelessness with washing my face and also touching my face. I have been experiencing some breathlessness but not as bad as I had it with Arielle.

Anyway, now that I am properly into the third trimester, this baby (small cabbage sized) should be about 15 inches long and almost three pounds. I am getting excited to meet her.