Notes on pregnancy

After yesterdays lackluster doctors appointment, I found that nothing's going on in terms of the baby arrival but I am in good health and we heard her strong heartbeat so trying to remain positive. I have been scheduled for a non-stress test for Friday at 3:00pm (assuming I'm still with child..).

Things I will miss about being pregnant:

1. Feeling little taps, pushes and hiccups from the little person within.
2. The anticipation of meeting a new person that is a perfect balance of myself and my husband.
3. Lycra being acceptable to wear at all times
4. People smiling at me just because..
5. Shopping for tiny sweet little things...
6. Healthy hair and nails
7. watching my little girls face light up when she sees my belly move or feels it kick her when we cuddle.

Things I will not miss about being pregnant:

1. Weight gain
2. The anxiety of the last few days/weeks
3. Swollen extremities and facial features (my nose)
4. Painful joints making walking a challenge
5. Flatulance
6. limited attire (flat shoes..)
7. Carpal tunnel
8. Constipation
9. Sleeping on my left side
10. feeling tired all the time

D-Day: Thoughts on the day

July 2nd 2012

Today is my official (doctor issued) due date. It is just another day for others but for me I feel different, not because anything has occurred or I am somewhere different, its just because it feels like something should be happening and its not. My husband got up and left to work as usual, we've had breakfast and watched the weather as usual and now we are getting ready to step out and play. I will see the doc this afternoon and probably return home for a nap. But this day marks something important, it marks a moment where the past and future seem to exist simultaneously, its certainly a trying time for women in their pregnancy because many don't deal with anxiety of the unknown well, many may be uncomfortable and tired, but its best to try to reflect on the last 280 days and realize the magnitude of the new journey one is about to embark on. Eat something good, enjoy a nice bath I suppose and just be. It's hard not to feel sad but its even harder to understand the sadness, the baby is still thriving, she will be here soon and demanding all attention so I see this kind of as a marker for the mental adjustment one needs to really grasp, fully, the larger picture of this time, beyond the first real contractions, beyond the labor, beyond the first's and onto the in between days..the everyday, the normal, when all the novelty is worn and you need still make the little one feel special and be made to feel special as well.

p.s. was still hoping for a relaxing July 4th with my summer cocktail..but this is slowly fading away by the minute..

#1:Carnivals

So the last day of June (my last day of Week 40) was spent playing, like a kid, I promised myself, I would fully engage in a day of play with my little one and not think of the baby for one second. I would put my best (swollen) foot forward and just play, watch her have fun and take in the scenery that is summer carnivals. The sounds of rides and kids being thrilled as they pull through the air fearless, the smiles on their faces once they come off and run to their parents proudly waiting, the smells of Elfie the cow waiting to be milked by any willing to try. It was all good and we really enjoyed it. 

Week 40

 So here we are..July 1st, a new month, one that I thought I may just enter with a baby on the outside but no such luck. I am officially at the end of the road with no new path in sight so I will wait..sitting idle until I can move onto the next phase..wait..nooooo...thats not a good plan at all. Ok, so we all knew this would happen..babies are perpetually late, these freaks of nature who have their babies naturally early don't really exist do they? they must be mythical creatures because I've never met one..!
Ok, just kidding but really, I am proud to have made it to this point especially through week 40 which can feel a bit like a life sentence if you're not careful, I am feeling strong and energetic so much so that I spent hours walking around a carnival yesterday! I let it all go, well as much as a 40 week preg can do, so no rides or anything but I did eat a funnel cake for the first time in my life, it just seemed appropriate at the time.

I am still swollen, maybe more so now since we're in the middle of a heat wave in NYC, I am running out of things to wear, I'm starting to feel like a camouflaging myself, hence the outfit...but Good. So, as a very obviously pregnant person you know that your time has come when men of a certain age begin to comment on your condition in public!  The females are mostly still positive, they look at me and smile (either with joy, envy or pity..I'd like to think its not the latter) but the men are becoming ruthless! At dinner on friday, a man just came right out and said..."Are there two or three in there..hahaha...?" not so funny little man! At Target, a man walked by me and congratulated me as if to politely say.."shouldn't you be on a hospital bed somewhere getting that taken care of by now?". The best comment of all came from my own husband yesterday, when I practically rolled out of a lawn chair at the pool and discovered I had been sitting on a bee (a rather large, hairy one too..yuck!) and inadvertently ended its life, my daughter frantically checked my backside to see if I had been stung while he remarked "now thats what I call a real bee-hind"! What the F...is this what I have become..the butt of peoples jokes..no pun intended!

Anyway, I don't intend to remain a spectacle for much longer even though I am not doing anything crazy to will this kid out as of this moment but I really hope she just feels for me and decides its time... today! I see the docs tomorrow afternoon, at which point I will basically pull a "Occupy" on them until they offer me a solution besides "looks good..almost there..see in a week".