Returning to work

I don't think any woman really realizes the enormity of the task of becoming a "mother" until you are so deep into it and falling apart at the seams that you wonder if it will ever be "normal" again. There are the fairly over-publicized issues like weight gain, labor and delivery process, pink or blue layettes, nursery furniture etc. that we all expect but things like postpartum depression, emotional attachment, professional identity and parental responsibility are subjects left untouched or at least overshadowed by these less critical issues. I am knee deep in that right now, as I have offers for jobs I would have jumped at just a few years back but cannot even negotiate getting to the job interview right now because I have a little 3 month old baby who needs me and a 4 year who must be picked up from school. I use the word 'need' deliberately because at three months old Evalie is not yet willing to work with me on taking the bottle, and so I must build my schedule around her feedings. I have just managed to return to the gym last week and have really felt the difference from doing so but at the end of the day, I realize that I am trading the rigor of the workplace for the time I spend at home with my kids and getting healthy. Its no secret, I feel extremely anxious about this especially because I knew (from my first experience) that the birth of a child is 95% the responsibility of the mother. You must sacrifice everything and maintain a home while the husband returns to normal almost immediately. I just wonder if there is another way to handle this, I definitely feel like the more family you have around the better it is but I don't think the inequality in parental roles are ever really equal or reversed.

Meatpie Recipe

I may not be an expert chef and by no means claim to be a fantastic chef either BUT I try, to make things that I and my family like to eat. Meat pies are a bit time consuming but pretty good transportable and reheatable food (within reason). The ingredients are also rather versatile so these neat little packages work with most peoples palettes.  I have made these a few times and decided to take a few picture this time while making them for International day. Its fairly easy to make but requires some advance planning and a little extra effort when working with the pastry dough.

Makes 24 medium size pies

Ingredients
8 cups of All purpose flour
4 sticks of butter (softened)
2 cups water (ice cold)
3 lbs Ground beef
2 eggs

Salt -to taste

1 teaspoon red pepper flakes 

1 teaspoon black pepper

3 maggi cubes

1 medium yellow onion-diced
2 tablespoon of olive oil
Mixed vegetables- peas, carrots, corn (optional)
Potatoes- chopped (optional)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

For filling:

1. Heat olive oil in a skillet and add diced onion, cook until translucent and soft
2. Add ground beef, salt, to pan and brown. Add Maggi cubes, red pepper and black pepper.
3. If using potatoes, chop and add to pan and cook until softened ( they will continue to cook in the oven..)
4. Add mixed vegetables and cook for about 5 minutes.
5. Set aside to cool.

For pastry:

1. Put half the flour and half the butter in a bowl and begin to fold together using your fingertips until it becomes a grainy like the consistency of breadcrumbs.
2. Add 1 cup of water and knead together to form a ball and seta side.
3. Repeat process.
4. Roll out dough to a 1/4" thick onto a clean, floured surface and cut out 6" circles. 
5. Take each circle and roll out a bit more then fill with 4 tablespoons of filling on one half of the circle.
6. Wash the edges of the pastry with egg and fold over to close.
7. Using a fork, seal the edges of the pastry, poke the top as well to allow steam to escape and set on a cookie sheet.
8. Repeat process until done.
9. Using a brush apply egg-wash the tops of each one.
10. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown. 

Serve with a good pepper sauce on the side.

4. roll out dough

6. Fold over and close with fork

9. Eggwash

Side by Side

These days everyone who knew Arielle as a baby is joyfully reminded of her by her sister Evalie. They usually say "oh I see Arie"..in her. So I decided to try to find images to compare to two and really see if they look that similar. Coincidentally, we took some pictures of Evalie the other night during a bath knowing we had some of Arielle as well, so here it is, the side by side of both girls at 3 months old. ( Evalie will be 3 months in a few days). I think they actually look nothing alike but I love them both beyond words!

Happy 4th Birthday

My sweet girl,

Happy birthday! four years ago I became a mother and you've been my wonderful, thoughtful little girl ever since. I have loved watching you grow, learn new things and become the sweet little girl I always knew you would be. I still remember the moment I first held you in my arms, its never been the same. As much I want to you to slow down and stay a baby, I look forward with much excitement to see the young lady you are becoming each day. I love you.

mummy.