Returning to work

I don't think any woman really realizes the enormity of the task of becoming a "mother" until you are so deep into it and falling apart at the seams that you wonder if it will ever be "normal" again. There are the fairly over-publicized issues like weight gain, labor and delivery process, pink or blue layettes, nursery furniture etc. that we all expect but things like postpartum depression, emotional attachment, professional identity and parental responsibility are subjects left untouched or at least overshadowed by these less critical issues. I am knee deep in that right now, as I have offers for jobs I would have jumped at just a few years back but cannot even negotiate getting to the job interview right now because I have a little 3 month old baby who needs me and a 4 year who must be picked up from school. I use the word 'need' deliberately because at three months old Evalie is not yet willing to work with me on taking the bottle, and so I must build my schedule around her feedings. I have just managed to return to the gym last week and have really felt the difference from doing so but at the end of the day, I realize that I am trading the rigor of the workplace for the time I spend at home with my kids and getting healthy. Its no secret, I feel extremely anxious about this especially because I knew (from my first experience) that the birth of a child is 95% the responsibility of the mother. You must sacrifice everything and maintain a home while the husband returns to normal almost immediately. I just wonder if there is another way to handle this, I definitely feel like the more family you have around the better it is but I don't think the inequality in parental roles are ever really equal or reversed.