"I don't like brown.."

First meeting between Arielle and Evalie: Evalie was a few hours old.

I felt a sense of panic as my daughter uttered these words the other night! I knew she did not mean it in the way she complains of anything I put on her that isn't pink and frilly, I was sure this time she meant color..brown skin color! It wasn't as straight forward as I make it sound, it was evening time, after dinner and we were getting ready to head to bed. I had been watching The Voice earlier on and off and just happened to put it back on when a brown skinned contestant named De'borah came on to sing (..quite well actually) and because Arielle never stops singing, I asked her what she thought about the girl singing..her response, "I don't like her, I don't like brown". I was a bit taken aback, I wondered what she meant, the girl wasn't wearing brown and what did brown have to do with her singing anyway? So I pressed her to explain what she meant by this, she wasn't really into the conversation so I reminded her gently that I was brown and so was her grandma and in fact she was brown ( at least 1/2) too..she asked "Is daddy brown?" I said "No, he's not". So, as I rattled off people who were "brown" that are part of her family, she eventually said, "I love you because you're my mommy and I love everyone in my family". So I quickly texts my older sister who also has two mixed race daughters and asked if she had had to deal with this in the past? She suggested to ask her more specifically if anything had happened which made her feel like she didn't like "brown" people.

The next morning, while getting ready for school, I asked her about what she had said the night before and she didn't really seem bothered by it. She just insisted that she didn't like "brown" not because of anything..her teachers name is Ms. Brown but she's not, she has one brown skinned girl in her class who she says she doesn't play with, so basically the only "brown" people she interacts with are myself and my family. I'm not sure what else to do, I've addressed it but I'm not sure I was able to clearly articulate that all people should be treated equally regardless of their color and how do you even convey that to a four year old?. And more importantly, I am really conflicted because I feel bad..slightly offended, I deal with this everyday, when I am out alone with Evalie, people often remark "that's a really cute baby" they assume she isn't' mine because she looks completely Caucasian maybe except for her curly black hair, when Arielle is with me and calls me mommy people are a bit less surprised because she's a bit darker and has long, extremely thick curly hair. 

Once again, I'm faced with trying to identify and explain her place in a world of black and white as a mixed race, mixed religion child. I know she thinks she is white and Catholic but she isn't and I have to find a way to make her proud and confident that she is both because its going to be more and more relevant as she grows up, while her religious affiliation may be less so. Any thoughts?

16 Weeks Old

At 16 weeks, Evalie still breaks my heart every time I look at her and she smiles so brightly. Her eyes are like these amazing little lights, she's already perfected her "wrap you around my finger" brow furrow. At night, once in a while she'll wake up crying, it seems, just for a little cuddling and no matter how tired I am, I savor it. I breath her smell, I hear my thought against her rhythmic snoring, its the best I feel all day, I love it.

My little girl is also now able to sit up and for quite a while. (she already almost 17 weeks by now but last week she decided to sit up on her own!) I'm not surprised because she has been trying to sit up by pulling herself up for weeks now, she is very determined to be upright. Its great to see her growing but if course I feel my baby cuddling time slipping away. I can only hug her tight while she sleeps now because when she's up she makes sounds, she's sucking her fingers ( and drooling), she's very curious and therefore distracted by her environment. 

I have been wrapping the Boppi around her waist for about a week to support her midsection and I guess its given her the confidence to stay up. Also, tummy-time is working quite well, she rolled over abut a week ago but hasn't done it since, she doesn't mind laying on her belly anymore but she gets tired and does a face-plant instead of rolling over. 

It's amazing how much she's changed, she really looks like her big sister at this age the only difference is that Arie had a lot more hair at this point. Evie has shorter hair right now so I try to put little headwraps in her hair like the one she has on but usually she's wearing a hat since its gotten rather cold. 

THE BEST IS YET TO COME//OBAMA

Via

I am still overwhelmed by last nights events, I voted for the first in my life and it felt great. I have been engaged in the political process, I've watched and tried to understand the implications and effects of voting within a democracy. I became an American citizen last summer after living with a green card for many years...longer than I needed to. Somehow, I didn't feel I needed to vote, I didn't think it mattered or I mattered. President Obama proves that we do, he inspires and exudes hope. He makes me believe that there is a chance for my daughters to dream big. I am proud to say I voted for President Barack Obama. ( and can I just say how absolutely beautiful his daughters are.)

Via

At 5:30, the husband came home and we all jumped in the car and headed out to the VFW to vote. It smelled old and musty but you could see the determination in peoples eyes, there were kids the, babies crying ( mine!) and the poll workers were really trying to be orderly. We ran into some people we know on their way out and my neighbors on our way out. I signed my name, was handed my ballot and I filled in my choices behind a curtain, stood in line to scan my ballot and in that short moment, I had contributed to our future and it felt good. (whats really funny is I was wearing a blue and white striped sweater and red pants so I looked like the flag!)
After interviewing a woman for a nanny position at 7:00 we immediately focused on the TV screen watching as polls closed and projections were made. It was nerve-wracking, nail biting, exciting and bittersweet. The emotion built up as the various states were counted, tallied up and called out. We stepped away at 9:15am to put the babes to bed and returned to numbers which scared me a bit. I almost lost hope because lets face it, the race was tight and hard-fought. At 11:02, we watched the number for Florida and Virginia sway from one side to another. I stepped away from the TV for maybe 15 minutes only to return to a President Barack Obama as the projected winner. I am still getting chills this morning watching the replays of his acceptance speech which came on at about 1:30am. What a night..I know that this was a tough road and certainly there are people who may be disappointed by this outcome but I think we must all realize how inspiring this entire time has been. YES WE  CAN!

Via

Via

Via

Trick O Treat?// Halloween 2012

This halloween, we were slightly more prepared than usual, we actually bought our costumes three days in advance! Haha..when I saw the Obama mask for half price I couldn't resist and then when we spotted Mitt a few masks over, we were sold. We would go as Obama/Romney..OBAMNEY was born. A few minutes later Arielle decided she did not want to be a ferri princess butterfly anymore, she now wanted to be strawberry shortcake and baby Evie would be a pink circus elephant. The pink elephant was too big on her so we left without it. Once Monday rolled around and Hurricane Sandy hit we realized Halloween was not going to be a priority but by Wednesday afternoon, the kids really needed some time out and so we let them put the costumes on around the house ( we were at my sisters home because we had no power due to Hurrican Sandy). The husband and I quickly ran out to find Evie something and of course, Target had the baby in a bag pumpkin costume which was perfect for the chilly weather that evening. As soon as we got back we changed into costume and decided to get the kids out for a little door to door fun. It was nice to get some fresh air even though it seemed that people were understandably upset and a bit stressed out. 

They got some candy and had fun skipping through the streets. There were a few other kids around but overall it was very quiet. We had fun poking fun at ourselves, waved to a few people in our best presidential wave and went home. (I know I look more like Al Roker than Obama but what can I say I'm only 5'6" tall and just had a baby!)