9 Months Old

my sweet little Evalie is 9 months olds, I know I'm quite a bit late with this but things have been just going on without leaving me the time to really do anything besides keep the ship from sinking. I have been also feeling especially unwound, uncomfortable..something, just not completely present at anytime. I digress. This little bugger somehow, without talking is able to detect my feelings, she looks at me and seems to truly feel what I feel and then gives me so generously the biggest, cutest two tooth smile you've ever seen. Its what I live for these days, she's making little sounds and moves, very close to walking ( SHE'S WALKING...NOW..), eating everything...its all impressive but quite honestly, I am still completely fascinated by her ability to fill in the spaces for me. She is a little light in all of our lives, she lights up things with her big eyes and one can't help but be thankful for such a gift. It's funny because I often find myself looking at her now on the outside and recalling times when I felt the same comfort from her in my belly. She really has blossomed into a lovely little girl. She smiles constantly, she claps.( I know most 9 month olds do) but its still adorable to see.

I miss her dearly when I'm at work and look forward to her extremely animated expression of excitement when I peek my head in. It's the hardest to walk out in the morning with her crying in the arms of the nanny..its even hard on her sister as well. She suggested staying home from school ( which she loves) just so her sister wouldn't feel sad. Arielle is very generous with her love towards her sister, its so sweet it hurts. Its unbelievable for me to watch them playing peek-a boo or splashing in the bathtub together,   I had never imagined having two kids..little girls. 

Evalie is now weighing in at 20lbs and 28.75 inches tall, and she finally has enough hair to make a tiny little ponytail. It greatly transforms her look..from baby afro to little girl. Some people seem to think she looks more me with her hair that way so I'm favoring it for now. She still has her two teeth but as of yesterday I see another cropping up in the bottom and one more coming in at the top in the front as well. I love my little mini..you truly complete our family, your personality is reserved but friendly and you certainly have the same sense of humor as your big sister. I miss my baby as I see you move from one milestone to the next but you will always be my baby buzzy!

Nigeria Trip // Day 4-Jos

Jos, the capital of Plateau State is named after the Jos Plateau which is located near the center of the country and is home to the ancient Nok culture. It is known for its wonderfully temperate climate, amazing landscape, great diversity and was once one of the most important tourist destinations in the country. Over the last decade or so, there has been a great decline in tourism, a mass exodus of its inhabitants and dwindling numbers in investments etc. due religious clashes that have caused tension and instilled fears in the people who remain.The sights were hard to take in, the roads were dusty and you could see the strife , you could read the hardship in the eyes of the people, still smiling but weary, still hopeful but tired. The streets were littered with small table setups selling various things, mostly potatoes and yams, there were also mobile (on foot..that is) vendors selling more vegetable but nothing like the selections in the streets of Lagos.  Things were obviously tough but even so, it is my home and I had to be there to really see this for myself. 

On the first night, we spent time trying to take in the house, settle in and feel comfortable in a place who's appearance had dramatically changed since I was last there. I felt an eerie calm but also remained quite uneasy with the space, so reminiscent of my childhood, my mind flashed between great memories and the present, emptiness, almost impersonal air of the time. It was hard to swallow, especially being there with my husband and kids (my mum and younger sister as well). We stayed up quite late and talked about the past and looked through old photos, eventually retiring into at daybreak. 

The next morning, we woke up to a nice day, we spent the morning exploring the compound, walking around reminiscing about the places I used to play and sit and spend time as a child, it was nice to reconcile my thoughts and feeling towards this house, it amazing how much the "place" which seemed so ordinary as a child is actually uniquely intertwined in the person I have become. My cousin and his two daughters drove in from Abuja that afternoon, as did my aunt and other cousin as we awaited the rest of the family to arrive. The kids immediately became best friends and started playing like we had when we were their size many years ago, it was like we had come full circle yet not much had changed but much had been lost.

 We ventured out into town to get lunch which turned out to be quite a challenge, we initially thought we'd go to Plateau hotel but when we got there and walked in it was deserted and dark! very disappointing as it used to be a pretty happening spot back then. We also tried to go to Hill Station hotel but there wasn't really anything going on there, we eventually got to a place called Avis which was supposed to be fairly decent serving traditional Nigerian food but as we all got out of the cars to walk in we were stopped by a guard who wanted us to leave all our personal belongings in a lock box before entering, certainly that did not sit well with any of us. We bypassed him eventually him and got in to eat. We also went shopping in town for some drinks and snacks for later.

That evening was a wonderful mix of celebration, meetings of family members new and old, conversation, laughter and it was like old times..almost. The anxiety faded and I was able to truly appreciate my home once again. We broke bread with a large group of extended family members who stopped in excitedly to visit us and had lots of suya and homemade massa. It was a really good night.

The next morning, we awoke bright and early, had breakfast and prepared to leave for Langtang.

Nigeria Trip // Day 3-Jos

On Monday morning, additional members of my family arrived. My mother, two sisters, their husbands and the kids arrived from New York. We were at the hotel when they arrived and went straight to my Aunts house so we checked out of the hotel and squeezed all our luggage and the four of us into a car to get over there. It was hot, really hot..the air conditioners can't even combat the heat in Lagos. We had fun looking at all the things you could purchase on the road in Lagos and my husband was quite fascinated by the variety of items people carry unsupported on their heads. Its a pretty quick drive from Ikoyi to Yaba when there isn't any traffic so we got in fairly quickly. We spent sometime at my aunts home, had lunch and got ready to head to the airport to catch a flight to Jos. 

Even though my mother had just gotten in from New York that morning, she had planned to come with us to Jos because she didn't want us going alone. The rest of the family would join us the next day, there is only a single flight daily between Lagos and Jos. The ride to the airport was a real drag because it was so hot and the traffic was dense.  It took much longer than it should have and I had two little girls melting sleeping on me. 

During the drive, I noticed my mom looked rather cool in the other car  ( my brother in laws) so we timed it close enough so that I could jump out and run across to the other lane and jump in the cooler vehicle! I risked my life for air conditioning! As we pulled up to airport, we scurried out, grabbed our bags  got a guy with a trolley to help us move our luggage into the airport, we were immediately approached by an "expediter"..he's not really one but these are people that for a small fee can get you through any line..get anything done quicker than if you were to go the normal route. He collected our  passports and cut the line and basically checked us into the flight in minutes. We went through a security checkpoint, got some snacks and drinks and within minutes it was time to board the flight. We took a shuttle to the turmac, got off, identified our luggage and boarded the flight.

When we landed in the Jos airport after a short hour flight, we were relieved! It was slightly cooler but I was also kind of surprised that the airport was really a makeshift shack. We walked right off the plane onto the runway and into this small cmu building and we were met by my uncle and some others.

Jos has been in the news ( abroad at least) as the site of numerous religious clashes so it wasn't surprising that as we approached the cars there was an armed guard holding the door open! 

The landscape in Jos is very different from Lagos, its more rural and arid. It looked very familiar to me even after so many years but it also seemed deserted. In the last decade its really transformed from a vibrant town to a ghost town. There seemed to be at least half of the population who have migrated elsewhere, the businesses are few and not many a thriving.  The town has gone from what seemed like an up and coming town to a struggling one in a short time. As we drove through, I saw the school compound where I spent six years of my life in a boarding school, it is no longer called Air Force Girls Military School but the memories of the time I spent there were still very vivid as we drove by it. any one who knows me well would understand what went on here..it was unreal. 

By the time we got to our house, the anxiety was so high, I didn't know what to expect, I hadn't been back in so long and I had held onto my childhood memories for so long that I wasn't sure how I would feel to finally be there. The gate opened up and there it was, my home, where I grew up. I was overwhelmed, shocked and really glad that I had finally been able to bring my husband and children back here. I had talked about my life growing up for so long that now it felt surreal that he was finally standing on the soil. Certainly, everything felt a lot smaller to me now and also strangely familiar yet very foreign. This was Jos. the beginning. 

Nigeria Trip // Sidebar

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So I have been in a bit of a funk since returning and feeling slightly less than perfect..why? you may ask. Well besides the normal struggle my brain has with change, adjusting to being back has gone fairly well except for the lingering negative feeling I have left over from comments that were made or not made while on the trip. If you've ever had the pleasure of meeting a Nigerian person or more specifically a Mother-figure (Mom, grandma, aunt..older cousin..or really any female who feels like she is in a place to have a say in your life) then you may have experienced the kind of brash, honesty these folks are known for. I try not to get bothered by other peoples comments anymore but because of the condensed schedule and high level of exposure this trip entailed, I felt a bit overwhelmed by the stream of comments about my weight. Its normal for these types of comments to be shared, I've grown up this way, in fact its trickles down from the top to the bottom, no one is spared and its not the kind of gentle, quiet whisper from a friend, its a loud, dramatic, public kind of comment to let let you know you've gone beyond the acceptable size for a woman. Its a cultural thing, here in the States, comments about a persons weight are a very touchy subject but in Nigeria, its just par for the course. 

I know I'm not a supermodel, I'm a mother of two (8 months old and 4 years old) who used to savor my time at the gym but has not had the time to indulge in my 2 hour daily gym sessions since I was in week 34 of my pregnancy. While everyone was happy to see us, the second (sometimes first) comment out of some of my relatives mouths was a gasp about how large I was, alternatively, they would shower my sisters with compliments on how great they looked and just look past me. I mainly shrugged it off but now a week later, I find myself feeling things I haven't felt since I was young and extremely insecure about my looks and endured similar comments from my sister-in-law and her friends (I was much skinnier then too!) It's so bad that I feel like either putting on my sneakers and running for the next week nonstop, Forrest Gump style or going on a serious detox a la celebrity Grammy's preparation neither of which would be very responsible given the circumstances.

Instead, I have decided to re-program my body by changing it's energy supply to mainly plant-based items (but not solely..who are we kidding here!) rather than anything I can get my hands on each day. I'm also going to be more responsible about eating regularly because I actually skip breakfast and lunch most days as well. I am also going to get up earlier to jog before the troops arise, I hope to lose the final 10 pounds that just won't come off post pregnancy without extreme measures, in 10 weeks. I think if I can at least start that, wean my little pumpkin in a few months and get back into the gym, then I will hopefully feel better about myself.

I found a few fun salads that I'm going to prepare this week..baby steps..if all works then I will continue this and eventually make it part of our normal diet. It shouldn't be too hard for me but with a picky 4 year old whose favorite meal is plain white rice, chicken nuggets or noodles, dinner could get more  complicated.

Some salads...

Kitchen Sink Chopped Salad with Creamy Balsamic Dressing
Colorful Lentil Salad with Walnuts & Herbs

Apple Chip, Gorgonzola & Pecan Salad with Apple Cider Vinaigrette

White Bean and Kale

Arugula with Radishes and Min