Sunday, May 5, 2013

Nigeria Trip // Day 5-Langtang continued..

Within minutes of our arrival and exchanging pleasantries, my uncle proudly took us on a tour through the house because he had spent quite a bit of time and money renovating it so it was livable, we all know that an empty home deteriorates at a pretty rapid pace..and its been empty for a decade. As we walked through each room, I became more and more relaxed and relieved to be there. I looked forward to the night, the kids began to relax, we all started to put our things into various rooms and settle in. We felt a strong breeze from a window in the stairwell and looked outside just in time to catch an enormous storm about to hit us. we quickly closed all the windows and the rain began. The folks there told us that it hadn't rained in months so it was very strange that a heavy rain/hail storm began within minutes of our arrival. My husband believes in signs and I often laugh at the connections he draws but this time, I felt something too.
at about 4:00pm
at about 4:30pm ( look in the background..storm coming)

The storm was furious, the sound of the raindrops on the roof were so loud it was like being inside of an instrument. Surrounded by people who I recognized (by face) but couldn't really name to save my life, we talked and laughed cautiously. It was a kind of uncomfortable gathering, everyone looked pretty serious and even though this was our home it didn't feel completely so anymore. They eventually served us dinner which was prepared by my aunt (who lived with us for many years when I was you  and practically raised my brother and sister) but even she was a bit cold. It was as if they were thinking that we had abandoned them for a better life in the United States and now, when we thought we wanted to recreate the past , the had to cater to us for the few of days we were there. It was weird, we were very gracious though. The kids must have been starving because as the platters of food (some of which they aren't even accustomed to eating) came out one after the other, they crowded around the table. There was roasted meat and pepper, masa, fish stew, spaghetti, tuwo shinkafa and green leaf soup. 

After everyone ate (and I mean everyone..) the evening got to be pretty interesting and hot..hotter..humid, people started to maybe go a bit stir crazy. There wasn't any cable TV or really anything to distract anyone. No IPad, Ipods. Iphones..etc. it was bizarre..we had to talk to each other.. and about what?
I started to panic as I often do when things start to get silent and I feel compelled to keep the tempo up at an even pace at the least. We had brought some wine, Absolut and beers from Jos with us but of course like everywhere else in Nigeria thus far somehow only the beer was ice cold while everything else was warm. All i wanted was a cold drink. This was all going against my norms! I love ice! and I felt compelled to google something..anything!

It was extremely humid and considering the was an AC unit on in every room in the house, it should have been freezing but for some reason the units weren't able to combat the heat. 

My cousin did have his digital tools so he was able to zone out while fiddling on Facebook while the rest of the guys took refuge outside in a gathering with the extended family because it was cooler.. ( so they said..!) As I peeked out the door to get some cool breeze, the scene was pretty crazy and I saw what was really going on, they were drinking brukutu! bad idea guys!..we had warned them to beware of what they ate and drank but they didn't listen and now they were out there drinking the locally brewed (fermented) alcoholic drink right from the calabash! I also noticed that the same stoic faced aunt from earlier that evening who had also been giving us a hard time over marrying Americans and had to be banished from the living room for being to rowdy was ...wait for it...yep...doing push-up in the corner? Why you ask..I have no idea..blame on the..?..this was really nuts..
On the inside, the three little girls kept themselves occupied with imaginary games and eating carrots my mom had bought from a street vendor on the way in. Evalie on the other hand was getting progressively more and more irritable and  impatient, she was hot and tired but had become a bit clingy over the last few days because people kept trying to take her from me and she had slept in many different beds over a span of a few days..we tried to keep her entertained and cool.
Evalie eventually fell asleep dripping in sweat with grandma fanning her. My cousin put on some music, we sorted pictures and talked about the past. Around midnight. Evalie woke up uncomfortable so we decided to give her a bath in a blow up duck tub. That was helpful and cooled her off although her cousin (my sisters baby) was not happy when it was his turn. Over the next few hours people started to give into the heat and turn in, I took a cold shower and put the kids to bed. Austin and I sat in bed (two separate full sized beds..) for a while just wondering if we would actually ever go to sleep.





Saturday, April 27, 2013

Nigeria Trip // Day 5-Langtang

Jos was relatively hot and dry (as opposed to oppressively humid like Lagos had been a few days earlier), it was a nice sunny day in the middle of the week and these were the scenes from our drive. We left around noon from our house in a convoy of three led by my uncles arm guarded Hummer, after a quick fill-up at his gas station we hit the road. The ride was absolutely beautiful, just as I remember, the landscape is almost surreal at times, complex rock formations and vegetation littered by small huts and 1 story buildings mainly constructed form the locally available materials. 

Langtang is located about 180 kilometers south-east of Jos, which is the capital of Plateau State and is the home of the Taroh people (which I am as well..). It's primarily a farming village populated by mainly christian people within a fairly close knit community. I feel like I may be related to more than half the village..ha..ha. In Langtang,  it always felt like time stood still, there was land and we spent our days exploring it, climbing things, walking around, picking things off trees. It was probably the best times I had as a child. It was truly leisurely, something I have never been to do again since then. I remember my dad retreating to Langtang when he could and longing to be there under the itilum tree while we were anywhere else. Maybe its the air, but it really ( at least for me) feels like the only place to relax. 


My memories of the place are fond, our home shares demising wall with our cousins so we always had a great time there on the holidays when our families would return "home" for several weeks. It really always felt like home somehow, everyone always seemed to reside in a really mellow state when we were there, my father was for once able to forget about work (which at the time could have been something fairly critical). We would go hiking, we'd go to our farm (Taka-Lafia), we'd go to visit Wase rock, we'd sit outside for hours on end eating itulum from the very tree providing us shade from the hot sun. At night we'd have roasted meat (usually from an animal that had been walking around earlier that day) and we'd play games, play squash..There was absolutely nothing on the agenda just leisure and it was fantastic.




As we drove through town after town, it seemed like we drove straight on the road for about 1.5 hours then turned left and about 30 minutes later I started to recognize the surroundings. I knew e were close to my home. At the moment we drove by St. Augustines church ( a Catholic church my father constructed here so we could have somewhere to celebrate mass on Sundays) I knew we were minutes from this place which held so much joy and tension for me all at once.

We made the left and approached the gate, as it opened images of my childhood walking up and down this very driveway over and over came rushing back..letting out fireworks at New Years with my cousins right at this very spot. We drove in and a weight was lifted, I finally made it back. Its been ten years and even so my previous visit ( 10 years ago) had really been quite tough on me so this held a lot for me. We made it home. We were greeted by various members of the extended family, drinks food..a lot of people going "wuwe..wuwe" (Taroh version of "oh shoot"..."kangkang.roh?" (Taroh version of hello, how are you?) and holding their hands over their mouths in disbelief. This was all understandable for many reasons. We (the kids) have grown up quite a bit since they last saw us, we have also multiplied (5 new kids) and we came escorted by several Americans (our husbands). As the evening festivities continued, this all became controversial. But for now..everyone in..fast..looks like a storm is brewing! to be continued..

Monday, April 22, 2013

9 Months Old

my sweet little Evalie is 9 months olds, I know I'm quite a bit late with this but things have been just going on without leaving me the time to really do anything besides keep the ship from sinking. I have been also feeling especially unwound, uncomfortable..something, just not completely present at anytime. I digress. This little bugger somehow, without talking is able to detect my feelings, she looks at me and seems to truly feel what I feel and then gives me so generously the biggest, cutest two tooth smile you've ever seen. Its what I live for these days, she's making little sounds and moves, very close to walking ( SHE'S WALKING...NOW..), eating everything...its all impressive but quite honestly, I am still completely fascinated by her ability to fill in the spaces for me. She is a little light in all of our lives, she lights up things with her big eyes and one can't help but be thankful for such a gift. It's funny because I often find myself looking at her now on the outside and recalling times when I felt the same comfort from her in my belly. She really has blossomed into a lovely little girl. She smiles constantly, she claps.( I know most 9 month olds do) but its still adorable to see.

I miss her dearly when I'm at work and look forward to her extremely animated expression of excitement when I peek my head in. It's the hardest to walk out in the morning with her crying in the arms of the nanny..its even hard on her sister as well. She suggested staying home from school ( which she loves) just so her sister wouldn't feel sad. Arielle is very generous with her love towards her sister, its so sweet it hurts. Its unbelievable for me to watch them playing peek-a boo or splashing in the bathtub together,   I had never imagined having two kids..little girls. 

Evalie is now weighing in at 20lbs and 28.75 inches tall, and she finally has enough hair to make a tiny little ponytail. It greatly transforms her look..from baby afro to little girl. Some people seem to think she looks more me with her hair that way so I'm favoring it for now. She still has her two teeth but as of yesterday I see another cropping up in the bottom and one more coming in at the top in the front as well. I love my little mini..you truly complete our family, your personality is reserved but friendly and you certainly have the same sense of humor as your big sister. I miss my baby as I see you move from one milestone to the next but you will always be my baby buzzy!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Nigeria Trip // Day 4-Jos

Jos, the capital of Plateau State is named after the Jos Plateau which is located near the center of the country and is home to the ancient Nok culture. It is known for its wonderfully temperate climate, amazing landscape, great diversity and was once one of the most important tourist destinations in the country. Over the last decade or so, there has been a great decline in tourism, a mass exodus of its inhabitants and dwindling numbers in investments etc. due religious clashes that have caused tension and instilled fears in the people who remain.The sights were hard to take in, the roads were dusty and you could see the strife , you could read the hardship in the eyes of the people, still smiling but weary, still hopeful but tired. The streets were littered with small table setups selling various things, mostly potatoes and yams, there were also mobile (on foot..that is) vendors selling more vegetable but nothing like the selections in the streets of Lagos.  Things were obviously tough but even so, it is my home and I had to be there to really see this for myself. 
On the first night, we spent time trying to take in the house, settle in and feel comfortable in a place who's appearance had dramatically changed since I was last there. I felt an eerie calm but also remained quite uneasy with the space, so reminiscent of my childhood, my mind flashed between great memories and the present, emptiness, almost impersonal air of the time. It was hard to swallow, especially being there with my husband and kids (my mum and younger sister as well). We stayed up quite late and talked about the past and looked through old photos, eventually retiring into at daybreak. 
The next morning, we woke up to a nice day, we spent the morning exploring the compound, walking around reminiscing about the places I used to play and sit and spend time as a child, it was nice to reconcile my thoughts and feeling towards this house, it amazing how much the "place" which seemed so ordinary as a child is actually uniquely intertwined in the person I have become. My cousin and his two daughters drove in from Abuja that afternoon, as did my aunt and other cousin as we awaited the rest of the family to arrive. The kids immediately became best friends and started playing like we had when we were their size many years ago, it was like we had come full circle yet not much had changed but much had been lost.

 We ventured out into town to get lunch which turned out to be quite a challenge, we initially thought we'd go to Plateau hotel but when we got there and walked in it was deserted and dark! very disappointing as it used to be a pretty happening spot back then. We also tried to go to Hill Station hotel but there wasn't really anything going on there, we eventually got to a place called Avis which was supposed to be fairly decent serving traditional Nigerian food but as we all got out of the cars to walk in we were stopped by a guard who wanted us to leave all our personal belongings in a lock box before entering, certainly that did not sit well with any of us. We bypassed him eventually him and got in to eat. We also went shopping in town for some drinks and snacks for later.
That evening was a wonderful mix of celebration, meetings of family members new and old, conversation, laughter and it was like old times..almost. The anxiety faded and I was able to truly appreciate my home once again. We broke bread with a large group of extended family members who stopped in excitedly to visit us and had lots of suya and homemade massa. It was a really good night.

The next morning, we awoke bright and early, had breakfast and prepared to leave for Langtang.