These days...

These days, the only thing I seem to yearn for is silence, a moment to be still and for my heart to stop racing, when all is said and done albeit temporary but its a blissful little piece of time that I search for each day to just be me, to observe from a distance, to appreciate the goodness we've created and to hope for the future. 

By the way don't Arie and Evie's profiles look similar? same button nose, deep eyes and peppy lips (and "Yes"...Arie has a binky.. don't judge her! "Yes", she's almost four but still holds on to some baby securities..I choose my battles!)

Finding Her Balance

Try and try again..this is a lesson I haven't really had to teach my daughter so far she does so on her own, she is very persistent about things she finds interesting or she is determined to do (Thank God!). She's been watching the amazing young girls of the U.S. Gymnastics team and has become even more enamored by gymnastics than she was earlier this summer. I had tried to get her into a gymnastics course for the summer but they wouldn't allow her to join because she was not four years old yet, so she's found every occasion to practice on her own...in our living room, at parks, in the back etc. And she can do this for hours just trying to get her balance..she yells out "look mommy I stuck my landing!". How precious! As a new big sister, she has had a shaky few weeks, she was my baby in every sense of the word and being told she isn't a baby anymore has seemed more like a punishment to her so I am almost in tears when I see her excited and relaxed (not questioning if I still love her..) I really hope she can find her balance...

1 Month Old

Evie weighs (at 5 weeks) a whopping 11 lb. 8 oz. and measures 22 1/2" long; obviously she's not starving even though I feel like I always am. She has developed quite a temperament that's all her own, she's like a gentle giant...it takes quite a bit to get her to the point of screaming. She's still quite a good sleeper except once every 8-10 days she decides to stay up until all hours of the night just making sounds and looking around, not crying (like last night...). She took her first immunization yesterday for HepB and her big sister was there to hold her hand and pick out a sparkly band aid for her. 

4 Weeks old

Dear Evalie,

Today you are 4 weeks old! almost an whole entire month! In that short time, you have completed our family and have healed my heart. You have brought an unexpected amount of love to us and really could not imagine being without you. I think I was right months ago when I wrote a post that I thought my mood might definitely match your personality, a mild mannered, easy going baby. You are a fantastic baby and I'm not just saying that because you are mine. I am surprised everyday by how little you cry and how easy you are to soothe, it makes being your mommy very simple and pleasant (no surprises tonight little girl!) You sleep just as well as you did the first day we brought you home so I'm not as tired as I imagined I would be. You smile and laugh sometimes and put the biggest smile on your big sisters face when you do so. She loves taking care of you and is very protective over you. The other day she read a book to you, she said she was helping you learn! 

I am happy to be your mommy for many reasons; the little sounds you make in your sleep are very cute,  the way you cringe and clench your fists with your eyes opened wide as we walk down the stairs is pretty funny, the way your lip curls when you cry is the cutest little thing as well. Most importantly, we all seem to get a kick out of your unfailing ability to reel us in with your smile and once we are all like "awww look she's smiling"..you immediately let out the biggest fart and poo sounds and remind us that you're just a baby and have no idea what we are saying!

Love you,

mommy.