3 Months Old

Dear Evalie,

I love you so much. By now most working mothers return to work, I can't even sustain the thought for more than a second without my heart breaking. Your presence makes me want to do better for my girls, I want to be present and am desperately trying to hold on to every minute I have with you. I know I am lucky, not only because I am able to stay home a bit longer but because I was blessed with you. It makes me believe there must be a higher plan for us, I cannot always control what happens as much as I'd like to but I know I was meant to be your mother. I knew it before you were born, I remember feeling a calm I hadn't felt in a while in between all the ups and downs of pregnancy, I had moments where I felt connected to you as if I already knew you. I was a mother before you came but you are redefining that for me; in your own way, you are showing me myself as a second child, the second daughter.

You continue to defy all my anxieties. At three months old, you are a doll, you are still very friendly and smile at anyone who talks nicely to you. You are developing very well all on your own, its  no wonder they say your brain grows the most in the first few years of life. Without much effort from me, you are doing very well holding your head up while on your tummy, and trying very hard to SIT UP, sometimes I forget you are only 3 months old. Your sister sat up for the first time at 4 months. You now LAUGH at things I say and you aren't as scared or easily startled anymore. It doesn't seem that you've had any growth spurts this month, in fact I feel like you are eating (and pooping) a bit less. You have outgrown almost all 0-3month old clothing and are fitting nicely in the 3-6 month clothing. The big news is that this week, you decided you needed your beauty sleep and started SLEEPING through the night, so bedtime is at 10:30 and you sleep right on until 7:30-8:00am! Its great. You may be teething which is why you are almost always covered in drool but you seem to be handling it well. Because you are so calm, I have finally been able to return to the gym this week and the caretaker in the gym already loves you. She says you're a breeze! Our only challenge is the feeding, I am a bit anxious about you not taking a bottle but I partially responsible for it, I feel comfortable with our current schedule so I barely force the bottle on you but since we have at least 3 months left together, we will work on it. Maybe it'll be easier next month when you start on solids. 

Your sister adores you and you adore her as well, you gaze up at her in amazement watching her flip and jump on the bed ( she's an energetic little one!). I know everyone says this about their children but I truly feel like you were the perfect addition to this family.