Week 28.

I have a human being in my body! I know..obviously I do, I've known this for a fact since November last year when I saw and heard the heart beat of what looked a tiny gummybear but it still takes some getting used to especially since I didn't really appear to be expecting until late in January (Week 19) and didn't really feel the constant baby movements until early March (Week 23). Its now April and I am in my third trimester, the realization that in a few weeks (10-12) I could have a little baby has set in, I have seen her many times by ultrasound and even in 4D, she never lets me forget that she's in there, she's constantly moving and readjusting in there. I guess if the first few weeks are filled with excitement and fear at once, the middle belt feels more like a scenic ride dotted with some new discoveries, bumps moments of anticipation and fear, then the last trimester, seems to me like crossing the bridge before taking the exit to your destination but as you look out into the landscape its such a tranquil view, it make you want to pull over and just gaze. Taking in the beauty, being thankful for the life you have, dreaming about what this new landscape will look like and wishing for the confidence ( and patience) needed to appreciate it. I think everyday as I drive/ride the train to work about these things; I don't question my ability to love another little girl because I already do love her so much even though I have never met her, I feel like i know her so well but at the same time I have no idea who she is. I know my sweet girl very well, we've been fortunate to have spent a lot of time together over the last 3.5 years, although she does surprise me everyday, her personality has been very well known to us since my former nanny offered me a book to read on how to raise a strong willed child when she was only 3 months old!.

A. My baby girl at 23 weeks 3 days

The view from the bridge right now is peaceful enough, in that moment the noise from the surrounding isnt distracting, it provides a welcomed playlist to the rhythmic movements that only I can truly experience, in conversation with my little girl, I say I love you and hang in there a few more weeks, she responds with a graceful tap which lets me know she's okay.