Week 39

Its almost surreal to even be writing week 39 down, I have one week left (technically..) I can't believe I'm at this point, I must say that a lot but its really crazy to think I could have a newborn any minute (I am exaggerating, since theres no sign of the baby really coming any time soon)! We are beyond prepared, except for giving the house a good cleaning and sterilizing bottle and pump parts but I still feel strange. I am caught between the anxiety of the unknown and just being so, so extremely exhausted. I really do want to meet the littlest one on the outside and cuddle her delicate and new little body, but I know its not going to be a cake walk and that every experience is different. I also realize that the due date signifies that I will be having a baby but also that I need to get that baby out and that is not something I have prepared for, in fact I think I am denial as to how the baby will actually get here.
I have taken no classes and my plan is to try to work within the moment, from the moment it hits. I don't even know what the docs protocol is, I could try calling the office and not get anyone..I don't know. With my first baby, it started in the morning, so the office was open, my husband was home and I didn't have a toddler that needed to be tended to but this time, I have been getting contractions at night (like at this moment..), they say its faster the second time and we will have to get the little one to my moms or sisters house. I just really hope it all goes smoothly..I like the idea of action..but not too much, I don't want to overwhelm my little girl, she's very sensitive to things and is already quite nervous about me being away, so much so I am thinking of letting her stay in the hospital with me after the birth or going home early if they'll let it.

As far as my physical state, I am quite uncomfortable at night, the carpel tunnel is now in both arms, my hip gets sore and certainly moving or flipping in bed is a chore. I have been having some Braxton hicks which are pretty strong when they hit, its a wonder I haven't jumped the gun a few times and called the doctor. If this were my first baby, I'd have been a real pain in the 'you know what' because the BH contractions feel real but I don't know if they are doing anything. Walking is a challenge but I think thats good because at least it could mean that the baby is no longer floating and may be locked into position for good (no more breech flips)!

I have no other real signs of labor..it would be nice to go slightly early (or on time) but thats just not my luck, I'm aiming for July 1st at the earliest which is fine (in one week) but if I go past that date then I may just have to consider alternative techniques to get her out before 4th of July, I wish I just weren't so uncomfortable because quite honestly, I was content with being pregnant until last week or so when the pain just really became unbearable. I actually feel the nesting urge..I want to clean up the house but the thought of spending even a couple of hours dusting, mopping etc makes me tired; I want to walk several miles everyday but I don't have the energy, I want to play with my little girl but I'm exhausted. I don't remember being this tired the first time around. I wonder who these women are that work until their due dates..or until they are ready to go into labor, what do they do for a living? I could not imagine having to catch the train right now and walking a few blocks to work..I would need a nap as soon as I got in. Onto week 40..hope its good!