Over PROTECTING our children

My sweet girl 

Its no secret that I am a cross between a helicopter mom, a tiger mom, a self professed attachment parent and a mush! I've gone from being a nervous wreck over the news of having a daughter to not being able to even leave this little girl without falling to pieces. I know its partially my fault that she is also rather clingy, she melts when she has to leave me, she melts when she's had to leave her cousins, she's genuinely saddened when family hang outs have to come to an end. She loves so hard already that I'm so afraid for what life's ups and downs will do to her heart and spirit.
I certainly hope she has everything she's ever wanted and never gets turned down or let down but thats not possible and its healthy to know what it is to lose someone you love or not to get your way or win all the time, the issue is that its my responsibility to teach her that concept and how to cope (and in a few weeks..I'll have two!) I'm not sure even I have developed my coping skills to  a degree where I feel completely secure in giving others life defining advice/ guidance. I know, I know, she's only 3 1/2 and she must develop some of this on her own from mistakes and such but its really hard to see your little one hurt isn't it?  So how do I do this?  Still thinking?

If I may digress, I thinks that's been the shift in my mindset, now as I'm expecting another child, and I am still surprised by the fact that I'm not nearly as anxious as I was to meet my first. By week 33 the last time around I was so, so, so anxious I thought I would burst but right now, I realize that in 7 weeks I will have a baby girl and I am okay with that and the time left before we meet. Knowing the littlest is safe in there just swimming around with no idea what's out here is so comforting to me and of course, I take her with me everywhere.

My sweet girl and one her friends (what do 3 year olds say to each other?)

Anyway, so how do young-ish moms (and dads..I suppose) who work and therefore leave their children for the whole or part of the day feel about the type of care the kids get and the effects of the experiences your children have outside your protection. Yes, she's only 3 1/2 but she expresses herself quite well and when we discuss her day, there are things she tells me that make me proud and there are things that make me want to just quit and take care her myself..I will warn you this is the 'mush' part of me speaking now so you may not think this is as critical as I did last night..but my sweet girl has been drinking a larger juice box this week (Yes..its THAT dramatic!) and has had two accidents during nap time at school this week, so I asked her about this before bed and she said she felt embarrassed because Michael C. (yep I'm calling him out!) was laughing at her while she was changing! Immediately my mind starts racing.."why was Michael C. in the bathroom while you were changing?.."Why wasn't your teacher helping you?"..."Did she stop Michael C. from harassing you?"...I bombarded this little girl with questions hoping something she says would make me feel better about this. I'm not sure if she felt as bad as I did, and if my line of questioning might have recast another light on the experience for her. 

I dont think, its okay for little kids (boys and girls) to change together..is that wrong? I don't appreciate the teacher telling my daughter that she doesn't need help changing because she's a "big girl"..and I certainly have no appreciation for Michael C. making fun of my baby because she had an accident ( I got my eye on you little boy!) So am I overreacting? Should I say something to the teacher or is this just par for the course?

I've heard people's feeling on this kind of attachment parenting or overprotection of your children, that it results in 'spoiled and bratty', 'undisciplined', 'disobedient' and even overly independent children but I tend to think that theres enough they have to deal with so early on that my role as a mother needs to cushion some of those realities for as long as I can.