Mother's Day

I had thought 3 years ago (after being a mom for 6 months) that becoming a mother had changed me tremendously but what I have realized is that it continues to change me over time, everyday in every way. at every moment, that relationship is redefined, its never constant and the feelings I experience are always changing, they shift from one extreme to another and everything in between but they are all amazing. I am happiest when I can sit with my baby cuddled next to me and just be quiet, its the only pure moment left in my day. Everything else seems crowded, intense for no reason, contentious, nervous, rushed, uncomfortable but in that moment when all I have to do is wrap my arms around a little body and not even speak but still convey how much love I feel for her, its pure. I think I was made to be a mother and she was perfectly sculpted to be my daughter, we have similar personalities but she has a sweetness that has really softened me and revitalized the romantic dreamer in me which I thought I may have lost. (Arielle, you will never really know the kind of effect you have had on me, I love you.)

I woke up feeling a bit run down (allergies, headache, tired..) and extremely hungry so I went hobbled downstairs and got myself some tea and a yogurt while I waited quietly for my little one (the monkey..) and husband (the bear..) to wake up. Amid the snores, snorts and rolls, I had some quiet time to myself and thought about the fact that I was about to become a mother again. I have just over 6 weeks, which could be just over 4 weeks or more ( if she decided she's had it with my confines), she'll be full term in 3 weeks. From my position in bed I glance up and have a direct view into the baby's room and her crib; we had put a bookcase in the room and finished up some little projects in there on Saturday evening after back to back birthday parties so the nursery looks 'done' and ready to receive a baby. Its kind of amazing how it came together, I really stuck to the the initial sketch I had made months ago.

Anyway, Mothers day took off when they woke up and stepped out to get breakfast stuff, when they returned I was extremely hungry and a bit grumpy but things went  pretty smoothly; in our house I usually cook but this morning my husband made breakfast and cleaned up afterwards! They also brought me beautiful orchids, cards and a little potpourri container which Arielle made at school and had hidden behind the curtain for two days all by herself. It was really nice that she actually 'gets' what mothers day is. She said to me at one point "Are you having a good mothers day mama? because..you are a mother (mudda)!", in her best 'matter of fact' tone. 

I still felt a bit sleepy and had told them that all I wanted was a nap, so they both left me to sleep when I fell asleep and I got a good 2 hour nap in, I woke up feeling much better (to Arielle and her little friend tip- toeing through my room getting toys out!). We then went to a late lunch, home depot (to get hardware to hang my new mirror-gift as well) and Home goods just to look around for any little additions for he baby room (Austin said it lacked color!). I found two nice rugs that I had wanted for very affordable prices, a large rattan rug for the kitchen and a yellow chevron for the nursery. Shopping and goods deals always put me in a great mood!

He had also planned an extravagant dinner but we were so full from lunch that we instead got a strawberry shortcake on the way home to have for desert instead. It was a nice day and everyone was sleeping by 9:30.